anger and tears

I don't know if this happens to anyone else, and I just noticed it today, that it happened to me. Today was going to be a good day. I was going to wake up, give blood, go shopping, and have fun with my roommates. Instead, I slept in, got woken up by my brother yelling at the door and did give blood and go shopping. The only problem is, the fun was gone. It's like, only I only have fun shopping, and my roommates just get it over with. Now, we weren't buying anything particularly fun (cutting boards and tolilot paper just aren't that exciting), but I like going to Wal*Mart, just to go and look, and if I get to spend money, well that's part of the fun. The problem came in when I got home. On the way home, one of my roommates mentioned she used my bed and desk to set up her computer/monitor since her desk died this morning at 6 am. I had said that's okay. But, the minute I step into my room, I actually see it, and it registers, and she has her computer, her tablet, and a textbook on my bed, and it sinks it. She actually was sitting on my bed. Now, I normally don't care too much about people using my things (if they ask), but they didn't ask. And I like my bed. A lot. I use it for homework, relaxing, reading, and, of course, sleeping. It's like my personal space in a college world where you get no personal space. So, I mentioned that it would be nice that next time, they should ask. Now, my roommate is paying for her own phone, and she has a cell phone where she pays per minute. She said that it would cost her minutes, which I completely understand. So, I picked up our apartment phone, and said "you could use this". Now, when I said this, I was upset. I felt like someone had invaded my personal privacy, and I realize that I wasn't being fair, but I was asking to be told in future, and just got upset. Things were said that probably neither one of us meant, and I stormed off to my room. I pulled out my laptop, fuming, and opened up iTunes. I was making a new play list, then the next think I knew I was close to tears. I had gone from angry to crying in less time then it took to write this down. Am I the only one this happens too? I don't get mad very often, but when I do, it's not very pretty. And then I burst into tears. Hopefully tonight will be better. Oh. and I moved. and I'm surviving.

A Jane Austin Moment

:: L I Z Z Y :: You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of silliness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

Take the Quiz here!

Boxing Day

So, today is known to some as Boxing Day. It is more commonly known as the day after Christmas, sort of the opposite of Christmas Eve. Everyone's given their presents, and today is the day for returns and such. I didn't have any returns (I didn't really get anything for Christmas, so I didn't have any returns), but my sister, my brother and I ended up going shopping anyway. My sister needed baby clothes for Lizzie, I ended up getting a blow up speaker chair and a book, and my brother got some DVD's and a computer game. I've read my book (twilight) and blown up my chair. My brother's started his game and we've started watching one of the movies (Mr. & Mrs. Smith). All in all, it was a nice, quiet Boxing Day. Hope yours was equally amusing!

mef

So, the middle of finals is upon us. I now have only one final left - yay! Well, maybe. Today I took my world religion final (worth 25% of my grade), and got a 53%. Yep. a 53. I studied like crazy, basically reread the book, went through all of my notes, the full 9 yards. And this still happens to me. I'm trying to stay on top of things, telling myself "it's just a test" and "you'll do better next time", but I basically just failed the class. It's gonna plummet my GPA, and I have no idea if I even have a chance at getting into the Accounting program now. I just wanna cry. Then, as I was walking home from the test, I saw the sun. It was so bright, adding just a bit of warmth, and I knew that somehow this would work out. maybe not how I'm expecting. I might not getting into BYU's Accounting Program. But, there are more options. Maybe I'm supposed to go somewhere else for the rest of my education. Perhaps the Lord has a different mission for me. I just need to have faith, and do my best.

a month and a boy

So, I decided that I should do a little review of the last month, just for kicks and giggles. - November 9th - birthday. I'm 20, now what? - November 15th - something important happened, I'm positive... - November 20th - last day of school before Thanksgiving Break. - November 22nd - Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for... - December 5th - get courage to ask out a cute guy in one of my classes. :D - December 8th - said date with cute boy. And what a date... [insert daydream here] - December 10th - come to the realization that I don't know how to tell if a guy actually likes me. (Any ideas?) So, it was a nice little month. Now finals are upon me (basically), and I'm trying to study, write papers, and keep my mind where it belongs. I have too much homework to be doing much daydreaming, and yet I do it anyway... I really like this guy (let's call him BOY) and it's been bugging me, because I have no idea where I stand. We actually have a lot in common, and I have the feeling it could actually go somewhere if he wanted it to. I'm trying to play it right, but since I have little (aka: none) experience with such things, I'm afraid I'm going to screw up and beat myself up over it. Already I'm trying to brace myself for the fact that he might not like me, and it's a scary thought. How can someone get that attached to someone else after only one date (and talking to them all semester twice a week)? Any and all suggestions, ideas, and cheesecakes will be greatly appreciated.

Making a leap

The time has come: I have found an alternative major: Accounting. I knew last year when I received the rejection letter from the Photography program that this day would come: I would have to choose something else. For this past year (well, 6 months) I've been struggling with this decision. What if I choose wrong? What if it's not really what I want to do? Maybe I should do something easy, that doesn't require applying at all. But, this feels right. I've thought about it, explored it (well, I plan on doing more exploring), done job shadowing, interviewed people, and I know I have to give this a chance. It will set me back for graduation about a year or two, but it will be worth it. I know I can make it into the program. My chances are definently better with this major than with Photography, and it's based on grades, which I can do. I will work on it, and as long as I like my accounting classes (knock on wood!) I will be able to get in. Unless, of course, life throws me another curve ball. But, bring it on!

November's here, now what?

So I looked at the calendar today and realized it's finally here: my birthday month. I've been trying to be good, and not drop *too* many hints, but if you don't mention it at all, your birthday is inevitably looked over. The trick is to mention it casually enough, so people don't think all you want are gifts/presents/money etc. Now, seeing how my birthday is a mere five days away, I'm trying to be as devious as possible. Since my birthday is on a friday, and I have a homework assignment that will last almost the whole day, I'm working on ways that people can wish me Happy Birthday, and I have come up with an idea: Have a Party! So, I'm actually throwing myself a Birthday Party (is that supposed to be capitalized?). If you're interested in attending, email me and I'll give you more details. The other thing that comes with this birthday is the fact that I'm actually doing it: turning twenty. I will be two decades old, out of my teens, and onto a new decade of uncertainty. I look at my life and see that I really have no idea what I'm doing. I live in an apartment, go to school, and work. I'm looking into majors that are incredibly hard to get into, trying to decide what the heck I want to do with my life anyway, and I'm starting to think I'm crazy. What should I do with my life? Beats me!

the golden compass

So, I love the book, and the movie looks like it might do it justice.

Starting

Hello everyone.

Well, maybe not everyone. Maybe no one. Who in their right mind would read my blog? Who wants to read the ramblings of a poor college student who has no time on her hands, yet wastes hours a day? Who even cares? Apparently, you do.

So, today was a good day. Nice and busy. I did get some homework done, but I got distracted by my application for the 100 Hour Board (theboard.byu.edu). You should check it out. Right now. Stop reading my ramblings and read something that's actually funny.

I'll see how often I'll actually post. And, how often you comment. Depends on how busy I get. My midterms are next week (oh, the joys of school!), so I might just drop off the face of the planet for two months. C'est Moi!

Oh, and have a nice day.


-me