29.2.08
Life
As much as I try to ignore it, life moves on. At any given time, there are at least 10 things that I could be thinking of/worrying about/planning/doing etc. And yet, it's impossible. There's no way I could focus on all of that, I'd go crazy! (maybe I already am, but that's besides the point). I handle this through schedules and to do lists. I know people who somehow keep it all in there head. And then there's people who just don't worry about it.
For me, I hate worrying about things, but it's almost second nature. School, work, family, friends, future, it's all there, in my head. Sometimes, I just can't escape. Which, is why I procrastinate. I distract myself from all there is to worry about, because most of it I can't do anything about it, at least now, and as for the rest, sometimes I just need a break.
This week I'm relearning the fact that life is not fair. Not at all. Somethings have come up, and I just want to cry out "Why?!". But, life moves on. Even when you receive such news, you still have classes and tests and ward activities and you can't just put life on hold to deal with it. You have to go through the motions, and try to concentrate on here. I'm learning to live on faith a whole lot more. Sometimes things just hit you, and that's when I truly learn to rely on God. He's there, and He cares. Life might not be fair, but He doesn't like it either. He just has the full picture, and He knows that this is what's best for us. Even though right now you just want to scream and cry, He's there, and He knows that when the dust settles, we'll be better for it. And, maybe on the other side, one day we will understand. We will be able to look back and be grateful for our trials, for they do make us stronger. We need to rely fully on God, and trust Him. He loves us, and He's there, watching us. We just need to work on trusting Him, turning to Him, and relying on His love. He is there. We just need to go to Him.
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