the doctors & my heart

So, there was this time that I hadn't been to the doctors in three years. I was sort of petrified to go, but my mom said she'd go with me, and be there for me.

Well, I went this morning. Wow. That was not fun.

Don't worry, I won't go into details. Except one: I have a heart murmur.

I've had it for years (my pediatrition told me about it), but we all thought it would just go away. Or something. I think my mom forgot all about it. Until today.

There is something wrong with a valve in my heart. What exactly, I won't find out until after a test on Wednesday. I have two responses to this:

1 - Oh, that's why I've never been athletic? That's why I HATE stairs so much? Whoo, and here I thought I was just really lazy. At least now I have an excuse why I don't like to run.

2 - Holy Cow, there's a problem? With my heart?!?! What the heck? What does that mean? What's wrong? Mommy!

I have a test (EKG? Something like that?) on Wednesday. I probably won't even find out exactly what's going on for a few more weeks. Which isn't fair, really.

I'm trying to tell myself "I've lived with it this long, I'm sure it'll be fine", but the other half of me wants it to be my excuse for everything now "I can't, I have a heart murmur."

Here's hoping I find a good balance.

Have a great day!