Today

I've decided it's time that I start blogging again.

No really, I mean it.

This time.

Today I decided something. I'm going to have faith again. 100% faith. You see, the Lord has promised me something. And right now it looks impossible. In fact, it's looked impossible from day 1. 

I had faith in the beginning. Lots of faith. But fear crept in: "what if I'm wrong? What if God didn't mean that?"

My fear ate my faith. At first it was just a little hear and a little there. But finally I realized I didn't believe God would fulfill His promise. I realized that I was about to lose my religion. 

And I thought about it a lot. "would it be better just to stop believing God cares? Or should I try to have faith again?"

I was thinking that for weeks. Back and forth, back and forth. Until today. We had a lesson in Relief Society about faith. At first it was just a painful reminder of what I didn't have. But slowly throughout the day, I've realized that I've made my choice.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6, emphasis mine)

So I will trust. 100%. No matter how impossible it seems.