that "25 things" tag

So, I didn't actually think I'd get tagged for this. I had heard about it on twitter (yes, on twitter, not facebook), but I didn't really think that 1 - my friends would do it or 2 - I'd get tagged with it. Guess I was wrong on both counts. Since I've never done a note on facebook, why start now? I'll just do it now, and not have to tag anyone (unless you want to be. but you've probably done this on facebook or something)

1. my computer is my baby. seriously, I love this thing so much. he makes me happy, even if he is schizophrenic.
2. I love my camera. I guess I should say I love all my electronics, even if I do want to replace my ipod (I love you anyway, Alexa!)
3. oh, I name all my electronics. I used to name them after guys I had crushes on, but that didn't last long. now I just give them names I like. Oh, and once I was really bored and came up with this story where all my electronics fell in love with one another...it was great.
4. I've never broken a bone. I've only been to the emergency room once, and that was because I sliced part of my finger off (it was only a small piece, but it was big enough to cause alarm. it was quite the night)
5. I love to cook. I really should do it more often, since it's fun. but I don't really like the cleaning up part. except I really do like doing the dishes. which is weird.
6. which brings me to the next thing, I love water. All forms of water. I love swimming. I love taking a bath. I love doing the dishes. I love washing my hands. water is amazing. just writing this makes me want to take a bath. too bad it's too late... for me at least.
7. I've been to a lot of places. England three times, technically. Canada. Mexico. Jamaica. Grand Cayman. Driven across the western part of the US a lot. Not really been to the East though. But I want to go to New York soon (I love you Liz!)
8. my neice lives downstairs. she's the cutest little girl.
9. I may be additcted to peanut M&M's. too bad they're on sale at Macey's right now. I have to keep reminding myself I'm broke.
10. I love going barefoot. Shoes are okay, I guess. But feeling something with my feet is an experience I treasure.
11. English food is awesome. like Bubble and Squeak, which is when you boil veggies (like potatoes, carrots, cabbage, onion, etc), and then you fry it. yum!
12. I really like cnet. It's awesome.
13. I'm addicted to music. I really can't stand silence, although why I'm not sure. I always have at least 3 or 4 things on my music wishlist. If ever I become a millionare, I'd probably spend it all on music.
14. I had a dream last night that I designed a web page. It was awesome. I'm glad that I've finally found a major that I love, that I don't have to worry about intense competition to get in, that I might actually be good at.
15. I hate saying goodbye. No matter who I say it to, it sucks.
16. I don't like crispy cookies. They need to be nice and soft. Preferably warm. MMMM....
17. I woke up this morning at 4 am with energy. I don't know how I did it. Hopefully it will stay around for a while.
18. I like the Talmage building. Even though it's not as pretty as the Tanner building. (what is it with me and buildings that start with the letter T?)
19. I want to play in the rain right now. I want to get sick from it. Maybe I just want an excuse to put my life on hold?
20. Chocolate will be the death of me. Really.
21. I can't live without my laptop. It's all but surgically attached.
22. I'm learning to like morning. Except I'm still a night owl. Maybe I just won't sleep anymore.
23. I really want to do something fun this summer, and so far I have a few options. I hope that at least one of them works out!
24. Webcomics rock. I am addicted to at least 3 of them. If not more.
25. It was really hard for me to come up with these 25 items. And it took me a few days to do it, too. Here's hoping you learned something about me.

I'm still here

Don't worry, I'm not acutally running away. Yet. There is one thing I'm sure of: something's coming. I don't know when, and I don't know what, but there is change coming to my life. After this semester ends, my future is a big bank of fog. I could go to Wales. I could go on a mission. I could just work all summer. I could go to New York. There are many paths that I could take, and so far I don't know which one I will take. Due to complications with the Wales Study Abroad, I'm not even sure if that's an option any more. I'd rant about it, but that's a story for a different post. No, what I really want to focus on is Sunday. When I woke up, it was a bright, new day. I had slept in, and thought I was ready for anything. But, throughout the day thoughts came. Some of them were very difficult ideas. I knew what I had to do next. I knew it would be hard. I did it anyway. And I survived. And grew stronger. And I will be stronger. This was part of what gave me such grief. The second half was something that hit me like a ton of bricks. It started out with me talking online with a friend, as to the reason why I don't like singles wards. I won't really go into detail, but we discussed some of my reasons. And I discovered the underlying reason for avoiding them. And it was a surprise. I didn't realize that was the reason. And I looked deeper into myself, and I started not seeing what I saw. So, a new goal: try harder. Do better. I have done something very hard, but it has made me strong. I will continue to do hard things. Because I can.

my life...

...is being described on the radio. Seriously, every time I turn on the radio I hear a song that describes some aspect of my life right now. Am I that cliche? I don't really get it. Here's hoping for some change!

I want to run away

So, I was going to wait until I could upload my pictures to blog, but I don't really know where my cord went, and since I'm procrastinating anyway, I thought I'd say something about my weekend. Saturday was fun. Kind of. I went to work at 9:30 am, and by my estimates, fried about 1,000 hot dogs. That's right, we deep fat fried them. Macey's was selling them for 10 cents each, so we had a lot. Except I had to keep calling Yvonne to tell her we needed more hot dogs. Or more buns. Yeah, great fun. But, I was in the back the whole time, and I didn't have to deal with stupid customers, so that was happy. (Note: I do like dealing with smart customers. You know, the ones that realize you can only go so fast, you're only human, and you can't help everyone at once. Also: the ones that know you can make mistakes, and don't yell at me when I do. /rant) Well, I finally got off about 5:45, and when I got home I raced upstairs and took a quick shower, then it was off to the Jon Schmidt concert. I meet up with two friends: Liz and Elizabeth. They're awesome. Really. Jon Schmidt is a genious. Really. If I had money, I'd buy his music. And, he's coming out with a new CD. How awesome! And, his son opened for him. Sweet! There was also this celloist who played with him, Steven Nelson. Amazing. I really need more music money. After the concert we all went back to Elizabeths apartment and had hot chocolate (excpet me, I had a banana. At work, about all I had was peanut m&ms, dr. pepper, and ice cream). We also played 5 Crowns with random people who were also in her apartment. Some of them might have been Elizabeths roommates. Who knows? (oh, and her roommate gave the opening prayer at the concert, how cool is that? And some guy in her ward actually played during the concert. He was actually invited by Jon up to the stage. And some other guy in her ward was M.C. Yeah, she's that awesome) Um, then Sunday sucked. A lot. I don't really know how to explain it, other than saying I blew up at my family twice (I really am sorry about that, it has nothing to do with them), and it was not pretty. Although I might have a solution, it won't be pretty either. In fact, I think this semester officially sucks more than last semester (and that's saying something). Oh, and I'm having difficulties with my Wales application. That's not helping anything either. Maybe I'll just run away this summer anyway. Even if I don't get into Wales, I need to get away. There's too much here. Maybe I'll take up my mom's offer to ship me off to England.

busy

I keep meaning to blog, but my homework for my 3 classes is unbearable. No, seriously. Try CS142. It's great fun. I promise a great and amazing post. Before the end of the semester.

1. I'd really like buy stuff right now. 2. Nothing is the word you'd most often hear me say if I stubbed my toe. 3. Possession is having stuff you use. And like to use. (when I first read this, I read Precussion. slight difference) 4. What is Captain Jack Sparrow? 5. Marshmallows and fire go together like me and my bed. Which is to say, they should be together right now, but unfortunatly they're not. 6. It goes on and on and on and on. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting off work at 7 to sleep/do homework, tomorrow my plans include working all day then doing something I've never done before and Sunday, I want to actually do my calling!

meme

So, this has been going around a bit, and technically I was tagged...

(a) republish these rules

• Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
• Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
• Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
• Let them know they’ve been tagged.

(b) share seven (preferably less well-known) facts about myself:

(1) I know how to play the violin, and I actually took an Orchestra class last semester. Only one person came though. (2) I own an old iMac. It has some problems though, so I'm not quite sure what to do with it. I'd like to put Linux on it sometime though. (3) I had a cat once. I actually grew up with her, she arrived at my house a few months before I did, and lasted 17 years. The day she died was a very sad day. (4) I love my room. It's tiny, but perfect for me. Yes, it has a higher chance of getting cluttered, but that's just part of the fun. (5) My eyes water sometimes for no reason. Like right now. Maybe, somewhere deep inside of me is crying? This has been going on all day. NOT COOL. (6) I collect bells. I have some from Northern Ireland, Germany, and now Ukraine. If you're going anywhere cool, you can bring me back one if you want. (7) I actually asked for Valentines day off work this year. Here's hoping I get a date! (c) I tag: Nanti, Gio, Liz, Chilly, Unit, Orb, and katydid. I think you all read my blog, but I'll post a comment somewhere on your blogs to let you know anyway. Here's to a great week!

huh

So, apparently I'm not actually taking a break from blogging. huh. I am feeling better, though. Whether or not I'm just in denial is yet to be seen. Yes, for three days I felt like crap. I wanted to break my cell phone, throw my computer across the room, and other damaging behavior. But, then I woke up and decided that I hated feeling like crap, so I wasn't going to anymore. And I still not. I don't really know if this is good for me. Did I go through all the phases of grief? Did I fully get it out of my system? Am I supposed to feel like crap for longer than three or four days? Am I supposed to continue to lose sleep? To me, that's what's not healthy. Especially since I now have a second job, where I work Monday through Friday 4 am to 8 am. Not sleeping is NOT an option. But, I've been thinking about it a lot. And I feel peace. I know I'm doing okay. I just need to have patience. I still have no idea what's going on in my life. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. But I'm starting to be okay with it. It's what faith's about anyway, right? Not knowing the future, but knowing that it'll turn out how it's supposed to, in the end. And that's all that matters.

that one day again

1. Oh, I am so done with valentines day, and it's not even February yet! 2. I don't like many changes, big and little. 3. During class, I'll try not to sleep. This will probably not work, but will make me feel better that at least I'm trying, right? 4. It's almost February; are you kidding me??? 5. Right now I'd like to be in bed. Maybe. 6. My computer, iPod, and things on my wishlist is my favorite gadget. (I couldn't choose just one!) 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working with friends, tomorrow my plans include sleeping in and watching our stake road show and Sunday, I want to not think.

Lellow Nemanem thanks you for reading her blog.

apples and obnoxious baked beans

So, yesterday was fun. Why? Because of no school. Now, that does sound shallow of me, doesn't it? While I do admire all that Martin Luther King Jr did (just watch the news for the newest outcome from this), I must honestly say it does little to affect my own life. Other then giving me a day off of school. So, I hung out with my friend, Liz. Yay!

Hee hee. I had lots of fun with my camera. (and she had lots of fun with it, too) Here are more random pictures:

My hat!

Liz again

me looking drunk (I wasn't, I swear! It was only lemonade!)

In response to the previous picture, Liz said "Open your eyes!" So, I did.

So, we ended up playing apples to apples. It was awesome. At one point in the game, this is what I had before me (the green card is at the top):

Which one is most Obnoxious? Sharks, Baked Beans, Slivers, or Darth Vader? Baked beans, of course!

Hee hee hee. I did end up choosing Baked Beans. I mean, what if it got in your hair? That would be mighty Obnoxious!

In the end, this was me:

Scary, Unscrupulous, Harmful, Shallow, Fake, Playful, Boring, Clueless, Saintly, Primitive, Swift

And this was Liz:

Refreshing, Easy, Furious, Meek, Spicy, Graceful, Responsible, Cute, Obnoxious (yes, she won with the beans), Cuddly, Appetizing, Fresh, Clean

Yay for friends and games to keep my mind off of other stuff. Which is good, because thinking about such things still makes me want to throw my laptop against the wall. Which, last I checked, was not a good idea. Yep, still not a good idea. Drat.

would you cry a little, for me?

Wow, just when I think my life is crazy enough, I get thrown a curve ball. Or something. And it's all I can do to stay afloat. I try to stay very positive on this blog, but right now I see very little in my life to be positive about. Which means I might not be posting for a while, because I have to work out some things, most of which are not pleasant. I do have to mention that one of those things is, in fact, a broken heart. I haven't been dating someone, but I made the mistake to fall for my best friend, and he has no such feelings for me. And I just found out that he actually has a girlfriend now. So, to prevent this blog from turning 'woe is me!' theamed, I probably will not post, unless something really big happens, or something small that makes me smile. Don't have too much fun without me.

advice

If I ask people for advice, then don't take it, what does that make me?

friday again.

1. Enough with the Cold. Seriously. 2. Thoughts causes me to be conflicted. 3. I've been craving nothing. In fact, I've sort of lost my apatite. Whoops. 4. Twitter makes me laugh. 5. I wish I could go to Wales next week. 6. Something has been on my mind lately. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to work, tomorrow my plans include watching my niece for my sister and brother-in-law and Sunday, I want to sleep in. A lot.

Over and Over by Three Days Grace

I feel it everyday it's all the same It brings me down but I'm the one to blame I've tried everything to get away So here I go again Chasing you down again Why do I do this? Over and over, over and over I fall for you Over and over, over and over I try not to It feels like everyday stays the same It's dragging me down and I can't pull away So here I go again Chasing you down again Why do I do this? Over and over, over and over I fall for you Over and over, over and over I try not to Over and over, over and over You make me fall for you Over and over, over and over You don't even try So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead I know what's best for me But I want you instead I'll keep on wasting all my time Over and over, over and over I fall for you Over and over, over and over I try not to Over and over, over and over You make me fall for you Over and over, over and over You don't even try to

Antithesis

I met my antithesis today. It was quite odd. I decided to hang out with a friend this evening, since I still don't have a second job, and my homework time is minimal so far. Well, one of her friends dropped by her apartment while I was there, and we got to talking. She is a mac hater. I love my mac. She is a cat hater. I love cats. I know these two facts alone do not make her the anti of me, but I suspect there was more she was hiding. There's also the fact that we watched a movie, one which I find hilarious. She didn't laugh once. I really don't get it.

that's what I get

...for putting all my eggs into one basket. So, I like reading blogs. A lot. In Google Reader, I'm subscribed to over 140 or 150. But see, there-in lies my problem. For this afternoon, I went in to Google Reader, and about 30 seconds later, I got logged out. Then it happened again. And again. So, I can not read any of the blogs right now. Dang. So, back to this? Edit: It's now working! And I found out, I am subscribed to 149 blogs. All is well.

Readability

Wow, High School! I probably should say something funny, or thought provoking. But I'm too busy trying to figure out what to have for lunch. Hmmm, sandwiches or soup?

facebook rules again

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Ardderchog!

books. and news?

I bought my books today. Finally. At least I didn't have to wait in line. In other news: - I now have a transferable permit, so I can park with either of my parents cars on campus (as long as I have the hanging part) - I'm still looking for a job. Well, another job. - I painted my nails today. I might post a picture. Eventually. - I love Elder Hollands devotional talk today. Find it. Read it/listen to it. Follow it. - Taking baths is becoming a favorite pastime of mine. Along with this is bathing while on the computer (yes, I am incredably irresponsible with my electronics around water. You'd think I'd have learned after dropping my ipod in the toilet once...) - I'm trying to get into a habit of going to bed early. So far, it's not working. Any ideas? - This list is weirder than I thought it would be. Maybe I should start making stuff up? - I'm wondering what to do with my halloween costume. Any ideas? - I've posted once a day so far this year. (on average) - This list is done.

Oh they say you can see your future Inside a glass of water

I'm in a good mood. I'm not sure why, but I like it. Today has been interesting, a lot of ups and downs. I won't bore you with the details, but it was not what I was expecting. Still, I was upbeat, and positive, and thought about somethings that I'm working out. Life doesn't wait for you to catch up to it, you have to run and grab it yourself. And I'm trying. I'm not sprinting, I can't sprint. But, I can walk. I can keep going. It might take me a while to catch up, but I will. I can. Also: here's a few pictures I took today while walking around campus. Enjoy!

smile

I love my scarf. That is all.

An afternoon out

So, I didn't work today. Yay! Not working is usually fun, at least until pay day comes along. Then you wonder why your paycheck is tiny. But, that's besides the point. Seanna, my friend and coworker, also had the day off. So, the only reasonable thing to do was spend the afternoon together. What an afternoon! First, she picked me up, and took me back to her apartment. She lives with her mom and sister, and two cats. The cats are pretty awesome. I scared one of them to death I think, getting this photo:

hee hee hee!

So, he ran away, and I got this picture:

run and hide

Then, we spent an hour upstairs. She introduced me to ask a ninja: And I introduced her to XKCD, Dino Comics, and Questionable Content. Awesomeness. Then we went to Macey's, because Seanna volunteered to paint the face of the clown (yes, some days there is a clown walking around Macey's. we also have a moose). Apparently she worked at Disneyland sometime ago, and learned how. She's really good at it, too. Here are some pictures:

Candid!

beginning to paint the face of the clown

When she was done painting her face, she did me. Here's my beautiful face:

It was cool, because she put sparkles on it and everything. When we were done there, we decided to go to the mall, because I needed a new pair of sunglasses, and we wanted to have fun. I knew that I wouldn't really buy the sunglasses at the mall, but we wanted to look around anyway. On the way, we were behind this: In case you can't really see it, here's a close up:

can you tell what they're doing?

We first walked around Radio Shack. Yes, I know they have no sunglasses. So what? We had fun looking at the phones and cameras. Then we wandered over to Claire's, where we looked at hats. I was going to take a picture of Seanna in this awesome green hat, but a clerk came over and said I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the merchandise. Meh. I found a brown hat I really liked, but I hadn't really been planing on buying it. Still, I thought about it. Then we went to Icing, which is like Claire's (actually owned by the same company), but aimed at a different age group. I found no sunglasses I liked, and no hats I liked. Sadness. So, we went back to Claire's, where I looked at the hat a bit more, tried it on, thought about it, and ended up buying it. Yay! Then we were practical, and went to Wal-Mart. Seanna needed a long sleeved shirt, and I still needed my sunglasses. I ended up also finding a scarf, so the end result looked something like this:

go me!

Then, I went home, so I could go to Stake Conference (the Saturday night session). What an afternoon!

Good Gravy!

So, Wednesday was quite the day! And you get to hear about it, aren't you so excited? Well, you should be. Maybe not. Oh well, you can read about it anyway. :^D It started out well enough, I got a ride to school, met a friend on campus to borrow her book to read for class (I guess it is a little sad that I don't have $103 for my text book right now). Then, class! We learned about binary. It is so interesting, bits and bytes. I'm looking forward to these classes. Afterwards, I decided to get lunch with a friend, since even though I worked at three, and my last class got out at one, I could take the two o clock bus, and make it to work by three. Anyway, walking around campus, I was alerted to this:

Naked Indian Snowman!

It was a happy day. Then I hopped onto the bus, and was on my way. I got a transfer slip (why I can't go from Provo to Orem on the same bus is a mystery to me, but that is the way of UTA), and got off at the transfer station (AKA, University Mall). Then, I waited. And waited. The bus I wanted was supposed to come at 2:43, so it could make it to Macey's by three. But, it didn't come. So, I called Macey's to let them know I'd be late. Then I waited some more. It didn't come until 3:12. I guess it was scheduled to come at 3:12, but I still wonder: "What happened to the 2:43 bus?" I guess I'll never know. Luckily, I had thought ahead, and was already in my work clothes when I ran into work. I ended up being only 40 minutes late, so they weren't too mad at me. On my break, I ate with my friend from the Bakery, Melissa:

Yay Melissa! She's really cool, actually. The Deli has always gotten along with the Bakery, I think. We are really close together, physically, also. So, we see each other a lot. But wait, there's more! That night, I was able to clean the back. It basically means I get to clean fryers and do dishes. So, I was trying to dishes, and I did this:

Whoops! There goes the gravy!

I was able to get it all cleaned up and worked out. After that, there's not much to my day. We got out early, I think. And then I came home and got onto my computer (but I didn't upload pictures from my camera, so I didn't blog. Whoops).

only seven days till pay day!

1. It's January; there's snow! and it's cold!

2. I'm not certain, something I don't quite have is what I crave most right now. 3. Cork and wine go together like school and homework. 4. Chocolate is so nourishing. 5. Let us dare to dream. 6. I want to party in my home. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include being kidnapped and going to stake conference and Sunday, I want to go to to stake conference and the CES fireside with someone cool.

more apple

So, today was the Apple keynote at Macworld. I guess this is the last Macworld conference Apple will attend, ever. Kind of sad, in my opinion, but I guess Apple's moving on to bigger and better things, so it doesn't need to go. Still, it's kind of fun, and what is Macworld without Apple? I guess we'll see what happens next year. Anyway, one of the announcements they made during the keynote, was drm music through the iTunes store. Which makes me happy. I have complained about drm before, and this is almost like a dream come true. I say almost because, of course, there is a catch. I have to pay for it. Yes, I suppose only $28.50 is better than buying all the songs and albums again. Yet, I bought them in the first place. I own them. Why should I have to pay? I probably will end up doing it one day. When I have money to burn. Also, what's up with the "special offer" sticker? They've been doing this for as long as there was an iTunes Plus section of the store. *grumble grumble* I guess I have a love-hate relationship with Apple: I love them, and they seem to love me, except they really hate me. Still, at least it's better than Microsoft.

school

So, I'm only taking three classes this semester. But, if all goes well, I will be working about 40 hours a week. First impression from classes: mission prep: I will not get any dates from this class. And I sat next to someone who's married (who is female). Interest level: 10. This will be amazing. cs 142: The girl:guy ratio is about what I was expecting. Also: apparently if you're married you do better? Interest level: 10. I just hope I don't die. cs 100: Hmmm. Part of me wonders why I'm taking this. Interest level: 6-7. I hope I lose my ego sometime here. I don't really like the idea of getting up at 4 am every morning, but I might not be doing it until next week. We'll see what happens. Maybe someone will not want to wake up at 4 am every morning, and I can take their spot. Hopefully. I need another job!

Crepes!

So, the other day I was feeling awesome (since it was the break) and decided to make crepes for breakfast. My family loved me! And, I remembered to take pictures!

The cooked crepe. I didn't really think about taking pictures of the batter, and they cook to fast to take a picture of them in the pan.

Now it has been said before that I eat my crepes in an unusual fashion. Let me demonstrate. First, I sprinkle white sugar on the crepe.

Next, I pour orange juice on top of the sugar. I like quite a bit on there, but I prefer my food wet.

Next, I roll it up like so.

Finally, cut up and eat! What's so weird about that? (except, apparently, the orange juice part). I grew up eating them this way, for breakfast. My mother is from Northern Ireland, maybe that explains it? What do you like on your crepes?

more new year stuff. because it's fun

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Worked two jobs while going to school full time. 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't know if I made resolutions last year, but I have made some this year. I think my overall goal is "let this year be better, please" 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but every one's pregnant right now. 4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes. Two people. My grandfather and my nephew. 5. What countries did you visit? The United States of America. 6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A boyfriend. Possible? yes. Probable? no. 7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Black friday - the day my nephew died. December 29 - not saying why. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I made new friends. 9. What was your biggest failure? The accounting major. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Apparently I was sick this year. 11. What was the best thing you bought? My digital camera 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Not known. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? No one's. 14. Where did most of your money go? School. And plane tickets. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? A possibility that ended up not happening. 16. What song will always remind you of 2008? "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Don't remember b) thinner or fatter? About the same c) richer or poorer? A little poorer, actually. But not by much. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Socializing. 19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spend time online. 20. How did you spend Christmas? With family. 21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Maybe. 22. What was your favorite TV program? Um.... 23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope. 24. What was the best book you read? Too many books. I really liked the Twilight series though. 25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Um, Coldplay? 26. What did you want and get? My camera, a trip to Houston. 27. What did you want and not get? All the outrageously expensive things, mostly. A new iPod. A new laptop. Books. 28. What was your favorite film of this year? Nothing springs to mind. 29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to church. I was 21. 30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Something I can't admit. 31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? I'm starting to get my own style. 32. What kept you sane? Nothing. I'm obviously insane by now. 33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? No one. Like always. 34. What political issue stirred you the most? None. 35. Who did you miss? Liz. 36. Who was the best new person you met? Sam. and bob. and Unit of Energy. and Katydid. and Fred. 37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. I don't know if this is acurate, but I learned that love sucks. 38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "If you'd only, if you'd only say yes" - Coldplay

friday already?

1. The world is learning to love me. Or maybe it's the other way around 2. "She might be" was the last thing I said. 3. I wonder why? 4. I am praying for happiness at the end of all things. 5. There's something to be said for random things. 6. Nowhere I can be is where I want to be. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping after work, tomorrow my plans include meeting up with my friend who I haven't seen since April, and Sunday, I want to sleep in!

caterpillars

So, tonight one of my best friends from freshmen year came back to Provo after the break. Since I didn't work, I decided we should hang out. Yay! Except we pulled out the keyboard, and that was the end of it. Yay for internet! Well, now we're watching "strictly ballroom". I guess I better get off the laptop!

2009 already?

So, last night was quite lame. And today wasn't much better. So much for bringing in the new year with a bang. But, I was thinking: I really need to get out more. I have friends and even my mother who say this. I might actually try it. I think of myself just a tad shy, but I think i might be able to do a few simple things this semester: 1- Make a new friend. I only have 3 classes, but I should be able to meet someone there. 2- Smile more. It might sound a tad corny, but I think I really need to work on it. To go along with it: 3- Look on the bright side. I am a pessimest sometimes. I really need to look for the sun. 4- I don't know if I'll be able to do this, but it's a possibility (I'm not going to say try. I've learned my lesson...). Go on a date this semester. Last semester was a bit pitiful. Really. Not one date. So, I am wearing my new yellow shirt in hopes for a bright new year. Let's see what happens.

the new year is making me work

As I read my blogs in Google Reader, I find that many people do this "Year in Review" thing, where they go though the year, linking to past blog posts. I've spent the last 5 minutes trying to decide if it's worth it or not. I guess I don't have much else to do (until my mom kicks me off my computer for wasting too much time I suppose). January January was a slow month for bloging. Only two posts? One about an argument with a roommate (which probably shouldn't have ended up on my blog. whoops). The other one? An online quiz saying I'm most like Elizabeth Bennet. Hmmm. February I guess February was a little better. I found out that life was hard. Looking back, I guess that was the start of a bad year, in some respects. Hmm, I also gave up The Board for lent. Let me say this now: I'm not doing that again this year. March Ohh, I remember! I got flowers anonomosly. Made me very happy. I also started getting excited about accounting. Too bad the accounting program at BYU doesn't like me. April Ohh, I remember this video. hee hee hee. This is still on my wish list. And looking back, this list is actually sort of acurate. iTunes knows my future? May My first Friday Fill-in. Such memories. Photos! With my first digital camera. I also posted this, which might actually be my current theme song. (yes, I am a stalker. deal with it) Also: thoughts on coworkers. Other occurences not mentioned in this blog: I meet more people (in real life) from the Board. June I ponder being an alto (which actually comes true later in the year), my brother, new music, and the purpose of this blog. My computer scares the heck out of me. I also regret some things and am tired of being akward. I spent lots of money on make-up, which I think was worth it. I rant about work. July I reach 50 posts (and no one enters my give-away). I bragged about how cute my neice is. I rant more about work. I decide on a mission (it's still in the plans, so far). I love my micro sd card. I found a big spider in my fish tank. I started caring about DRM, and started loving Amazonmp3. I took more pictures. I find an earwig on my toothbrush, and declare war on bugs. I finally discover my problem: the universe hates me. I ponder about boys. August I got sick. I learn more about life. I bought books. I went up Provo canyon with my family. I put windows on my mac. I went to a midnight book release. I got an awesome scar. (hey, it's still there!) I reviewed a book. I ponder about life some more. I had a really long day. I worked for 14 hours. I told a bit about myself (although some of that is out of date now. horribly out of date.). September I started school again. I was in a fire alam in the library, and enjoyed ice cream, all in the same day. I try to balance the good with the bad. I talk about my ride to and from school. (I think I was a little harsh on him, but now I get a ride from someone else. I'll talk about it soon enough) I complain about love. I wait for packages. I love my stats lab. October I question my major. (which gave me a good idea I'm following) I do my Welsh homework. I love music. Good sounding music. Life still is hard. My Grandfather died. I want cool gadgets. I'm excited for family. I get contacts and go to a funeral. Music, once again, defines my life oddly well. I laugh at random videos. I decide to join NaNoWriMo. I fear for my life. I play games. I ponder life some more. I watch a pot of water boil. November I went to my first hockey game. I start NaBloPoMo. I reach 100 posts (don't worry, I know I need to make cookies. It'll happen one day). I finally post about halloween. I talk about worst dates. I bought an electric toothbrush. I had a birthday. I get jealous. I learn more about kitty litter. I go on an adventure. I cry. I get sick. I survive. I'm thankful. I want to give up. My nephew died. I keep going. I win. December I talk about my nephew. I go to Houston. I got another digital camera. I go to another funeral. I fail at being BYU. (although I messed up. whoops.) I'm overwhelmed. I survive. I procrastinate. I admit I'm addicted to the internet. My mom gets snowed-in in Las Vegas. I think some more. I decide on insanity. I compare my blog to a journal. I need to get another job. I say stuff that makes no sense. Wow. That took longer than I thought it would. But, it's reminded me of a lot. So, it's a good thing. I have just a couple of things I want to work on this year, and I guess right here is as good a place to put them as any. 1- Move on. There are some things that I have to just get over. Which will take time. But will hopefully move me in the right direction 2- Write more. Either here, or in my real journal, hopefully both. 3- Do better at my calling. I've already started doing this. 4- Go to the temple more. There may be more ideas moving around in my head, but if I try too many, I won't get them done. So, here's a start. Happy New Year everyone! Here's to a better 2009!

cryptic

Thoughts, carry on. Looks, glances exchanged. Is it nothing? Or was there something? I wonder, though the night. Thoughts of sleep vanish. Thinking, wondering, wishing. Oh, the wishes! But knowing, it will never be. Feelings, raw now. Wondering, how is it supposed to be? Like this? Unprobable. Change must take place. Somewhere, somehow. Thoughts, carry on.

hmmm

I almost want to be cryptic, just because I have something to be cryptic about. I spent all morning on the computer. On the Internet. Basically what I did at school. Except my mom was there to see. And she definitely disapproves. So, this afternoon I went down to BYU and looked at job listings. Because I have to get another job. Sadness. So, I found 2. I need your ideas - which one should I apply for? But then again, my mom wants me to get an early morning custodial job. I think she's crazy. It might be just too early for me. I didn't eat lunch. And it's looking like I might not have dinner, either. I guess I'm hungry, but nothing sounds good. Not that we have anything in the house to eat anyway. And I have no money to buy food to eat. I think I have a problem....

random thoughts

I was going to post this last night. Then my internet wasn’t working. So I decided to type it anyway. Because I haven’t posted in a couple of days (though it seems longer). I really might be addicted to the internet, because I seem to be getting on every day, even Christmas. Whoops. I’m not even sure what I was going to blog about. My head hurts. And I don’t really eat anymore. Maybe I have what bob has? Or had? Because I know I probably should have had dinner, but my stomach didn’t like the idea. Still, I stood in front of the fridge, and pantry for about 5 minutes, looking. But, everything sounded wrong. Either too much sugar, or too much time. I sort of wanted pizza, but that’s gone now. And I have a big headache. Maybe that’s related. I really can’t believe I’m going to bed at 9 pm. Something must be wrong with me. True, the internet is down, but I could easily reset the router if I wanted to. But, I’m tired of spending so much time online. I really need a break. I have done much thinking this week. I think it’s good for me. I’ve come to a few conclusions. Not as many as I need to, but I think it’s a start. A step in the right direction I think. I hope. If I can’t figure out my life, I’m going crazy (not that I’m not already...). On a really random note, I dreamt of vampires the other night. I wasn’t one though, sorry Sam. I wish I could remember more of it. But, there were definitely vampires. Which was awesome. Other random note: I have $32 in my bank account. That’s right, I finally paid tuition. And am trying to figure out how I can afford books. Pray?

stealing isn't always bad

So yes, I stole this from someone. But, I do that all the time with my blog anyway... 1. Have you had any relationships this year? not really. 2. Have you had your birthday yet? yep. but my party isn't until next year. sometime. 3. Cried yet? yeah. 4. Been on a diet? nope 5. Pulled an all nighter? not this year, that I remember. but maybe?

6. Drank Starbucks? sort of. it was from starbucks. 7. Went Camping? nope. sad. 8. Bought something(s)? oh yeah!! 9. Met someone special? probably not. unfortunatly. 10. Been out of state? went to Houston twice. 12. What are you thinking about? trying to get out of work New Years Eve. and my strange dream that involved vampires. ___________________________________________ 1.) Hugged someone? yep. 2.) Slept in someone else's bed? Um, sort of? my nephews, if that counts. 3.) Got a job? only one right now. but next week the search begins for another one. 4.) Loaned out money? not really. 5.) Gotten in a car accident? nope. 6.) Gone over your mobile phone bill? once. 7.) Been called a slut? nope. 8.) Done something you regret? maybe, but I'm trying not to regret what I've done. what's done is done, I can't change it. LAST :

_________________________________________________________ Last Person you hugged? um. my mom or dad. Last Person to call you? maybe my brother-in-law? I couldn't find him in wal-mart. yeah, no one ever calls me. :( When was the last time you felt stupid? last night. Who did you last yell at? I don't usually yell at people. What did you do today? woke up. showered. TEN FACTS : ___________________________________________________________ 01. Name? Yellow M&M 02. Natural hair color? brown 03. Initials? YM 04. Hair style? short. 5. Eye color? brown 06. Height: 5'1" 07. Pets: not currently. they all died. :^(

08. Mood? meh. 09. Where would you rather be? in bed. or with friends. 10. What was the last thing you drank? ice cream. TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE: 01. Have you ever been in love: maybe. I'm not sure. 02. Do you believe in love? yes i do. 03. Why did your LAST relationship fail? um, I don't think I have been in a relationship. 04. Have you ever been heartbroken: yes 05. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? not that I can think of 06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend? um, define best friend. 07. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? duh. 08. Are you afraid of commitment? I don't think so. 10. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your life? no. I haven't even had one. 3 EMOTIONS ___________________________________________________________ 01. Are you missing someone right now? yeah, i am. 02. Are you happy? not currently. hopefully soon. 03. Are you eating anything? not right now.

friday. happy boxing day!

1. I must see the world before I die. 2. You can't stop me. 3. I wish I never had to buy toiletries again -meh! 4. College has helped me change my life (for the good or bad, you decide) 5. I know the song Silent Night by heart. 6. If I weren't so afraid, I would be more outgoing. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going back to work, tomorrow my plans include nothing in particular and Sunday, I want to do nothing particularly exciting.

my blog as a journal

I was looking at my stats for my blog yesterday, and was a little amazed that I've posted more than 150 times here. In passing, I mentioned this fact to my mom, who just turned around and said "How many times have you written in your journal?" This bothered me for a bit. But then I really started thinking about it. I have written in my journal, there's no doubt about it. But, in a way, this blog has become my journal. Now, I don't write down my deepest thoughts here (for which you should be gratful), but I have written enough. I've written all sorts of random things here, from random thoughts to random events. So, it has become a bit of a journal for me. I still have a regular, pen and paper journal that I write in now and then. I've never been the most dedicated journal writter, but I'm working on it. And maybe, just maybe, my blog is helping me a little. At least it's a little record of a section of my life.

giveaway

No, I'm not doing another give away (actually, I still owe someone cookies. whoops) But, someone else is. And I want to win.

Meme

1. What is a nickname a former (or present) lover gave you? I haven't had any lovers... 2. How do you style your hair? If you just would say “cut” what style is it? Usually, when I'm feeling lazy, I just do a pony tail. If I feel classy I let it down. I don't know what cut or style it is... 3. What’s your least favorite Christmas song? Least favorite? That "Santa Baby" song. Ick. 4. How many colors are you wearing now? Three. Brown, pink and blue jeans. 5. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Mostly introvert. Except when it comes to some people. Maybe. 6. What was the last book you read? For fun? I don't even remember. 7. What’s one piece of fiction that changed your life? There have been a lot. I love Matilda. Twilight I guess I could say changed my life, at least how I view books that other people make fun of that I like... 8. If you are attracted to someone who is already in a relationship (or married), what might do you do? Cry a lot. 9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently? Certain revelations from a certain person. 10. What’s your favorite dessert? Chocolate. 11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? About half an hour. Maybe less if I don't feel like putting on make-up or doing anything with my hair. I can shower in less than 5 minutes. 12. Name one website that you visit daily. Why do you read it? One? I guess Google Reader. I love blogs! 13. What was your last job before either you are at home or at another job?? I don't really get this question...last joy before what? 14. Do you like to clean? Once I've started, yes. It's just getting started that's hard. 15. What was the last song to get stuck in your head? I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie 16. What’s the last movie you saw? Um, I don't have time for movies. 17. Pirates or Ninjas? Ninjas! 18. What is your least favorite thing to do that you have to do everyday? Say goodbye. 19. Best time of your life? Freshman year of College. Hopefully next year will have more good times. 20. What are you most looking forward to in the coming year? Going to Wales/Going on a Mission. I have big plans for this year.

thoughts

I'm crazy. I must be. There are too many things that point in that direction. Too many decisions that make no sense. I don't get it. Not really. Maybe one day my life will make sense. Until then, I will just enjoy my insanity!

my christmas tree

quotes and thoughts

"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose" "Though success is a lousy teacher, failure is unacceptable" My dad gave me these quotes a couple of days ago. I really like the message, mainly because I see it in my own life, at least in regard to something I have a big problem with: procrastination. Yet I do it. I put off things for days, up until the last possible minute. Then, when I actually pull it off and get a pretty good result, I have success. Which gives me more reasons to procrastinate later. Because hey, I can get away with it. So why not do it? I need to find a way to get rid of this thought. Yet, as the second quote suggests, I can't give in to failure. It's just not an option. I don't want to purposely fail, just to teach myself a lesson. Does not cumpute. So, a goal. To be realistic, I'm not going to claim to be able to stop procrastinating cold turkey or anything. That's an impossible goal for me. Instead, I will say this: I will try harder to start projects sooner. That's it. I know, some of you say "do, or do not. there is no try" (yes, I've been quoted this several times). To you, I reply "if I had that attitude, it would be do not." Because I'm not perfect. And will never be. I just have to try.

*sigh*

"I love you like a plate"

something funny

I'm really trying to come up with something. Really. Maybe it's the finals, sicking all of my creativity? Maybe it's the 5 hours of sleep I've been getting? I think I'll blame the snow. It's everywhere. All over the U.S. at least. Houston, New Orleans, Las Vegas. They've all had snow. My mom is stuck in Las Vegas because of the snow. No one can get in or out of the city: all roads are closed, and even the airport is closed. Where is it coming from?

the internet

I went up to campus today to study and take a final. I decided to settle down in the Terrace, a large room in the Student Center where students can go to eat, hang out, and possibly study. I knew it wouldn't be as quite as the Library, but that suited me just fine. After all, part of being a student is being a part of the social side of life, right? As soon as I sat down, I did what I always do: pulled out my laptop and checked the usual sites: Google Reader, Gmail, Twitter, etc. I opened up my instant messenger service and started talking with Sam. In short, I did everything EXCEPT study. I knew I had to study, it's just there are so many interesting things on the Internet. Sam was sending me links, which I'd click on, and we'd discuss. Or I'd send him a link. Or I'd pull up a blog and start reading the archives. With so much information out there, who has time to study for Statistics anyway? Eventually, I twittered "running from my finals", sort of as a joke. Well, Sam also follows me on twitter, and he said "close the computer and study". I knew he was right, yet I faltered. How could I close my link to the outside world? How could I close my chat window, my twitterfeed, my google reader? Yet, I knew he was right. It would have to wait. It would still be there at the end of the day. I was strong, I shut my computer and went to work. Do you ever feel the same way? You have things to do, but the internet calls? Or am I the only one who feels the tug, the magnetic pull?

my extra reading day (and thoughts on Christmas)

I am feeling better! I might still need a tissue box nearby, and a glass of orange juice on the table, but I'm up! And dressed! I've declared this to be my extra reading day, since I sort of lost one, last week. And, I don't have any scheduled finals, so I can just sleep in, and lounge around, thinking about doing homework. But, even though I only got about 5 hours of sleep last night, I am full of energy! I want to do things! So, I did my laundry, did the dishes, took out the trash, and am now contemplating what other things I could do. Unfortunatly, I'm not coming up with much, since I do not have a car. But, cleaning my room may make the list. Along with figuring out what I'm going to get everyone for Christmas. Yes, that's right. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping yet. Whoops. I'll get it done - eventually. Hopefully before Saturday. Because Christmas is NEXT WEEK!! Wow, I can't even believe it. Both of my parents have been out of town, so our house doesn't even look Christmasy at all. The only way I'm getting any Christmas Spirit is being on campus, or playing Christmas Music. Since we've had a definete lack of snow, it really hasn't even felt like December - just an elongated November. But, what do mine eyes see? Looking out the window, I can see snow! Real, live (sort of), snow! Falling from a white sky. And, my mother is coming home! For the first time in months! My mom, along with Tiggr and the Cute One are in the car, driving from Houston. (yes, they are crazy) They should be here Thursday, plenty of time before Christmas, right? But the main thing is, we'll all be together for Christmas. What is Christmas without family?

it's friday again!

1. Friends keep me from going over the edge. 2. Bad health; it's what's cool right now! 3. I'm ready for bed. 4. Fresh cut grass and rain are two of my favorite perfumes or smells. 5. The oldest ornament I have is none, I don't think I own any ornaments... 6. Take some books, internet, friends and good music, mix it all together and you have a happy me. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a Welsh party, tomorrow my plans include sleeping late and not caring about it and Sunday, I want to be feeling well enough to go to church.

multi-langual

So, Nanti-Sarrmm and I were having a nice little chat today. See, I was trying to study for my Welsh final, but I kept getting distracted (as I am wont to do). So, instead, I decided to start talking to Nanti in Welsh, and he started speaking to me in Spanish. At first, I didn't bother trying to translate what he was saying, but after a while I did. And this is what our conversation looked like: (translation of Spanish done by google. translation of Welsh done by me and my dictionary. grammer's probably not correct. All translation is at the bottom) Nanti-Sarrmm: Pero ya tienes un trabajo, no? Yellow M&M: Ydw. Mae raid i fi cael arall. Nanti-Sarrmm: Y que pasa si no puedes trabajar las horas que quieres? Yellow M&M: dw i'n gweddi Nanti-Sarrmm: No mueras! Yellow M&M: Nag ydw. dw i'n ddim marw. \Nanti-Sarrmm: Eso esta bueno. Sera chido si sierves una mision a Gales. Yellow M&M: dw i'n mynd Nanti-Sarrmm: por que estoy loco, loco! Yellow M&M: dw i'n ddim anghytun Nanti-Sarrmm: Tu tambien eres loca? Yellow M&M: cau digon Nanti-Sarrmm: Parangaricutirimicuaro! Yellow M&M: dw i'n mynd gwallgo Nanti-Sarrmm: es una trabalengua. Yellow M&M: ydw Nanti-Sarrmm: ya lo supaste? Yellow M&M: dw i ddim mynd methu Nanti-Sarrmm: hmmn... bien, pero tengo suspiciones de que sabia que era una trabalengua. Te gusta puerco? Yellow M&M: ydw. rhywbeth Nanti-Sarrmm: Salado? Yellow M&M: nag ydw Nanti-Sarrmm: que dices?! Yellow M&M: dw i'n siarad Nanti-Sarrmm: Estas cansada? Yellow M&M: ydw Yellow M&M: a chi? Nanti-Sarrmm: No tanto. Que Pachuka por toluka? Yellow M&M: wn i ddim Nanti-Sarrmm: Que transitas por tus veinas? Yellow M&M: you want me to translate? Nanti-Sarrmm: sure Yellow M&M: from the beginning? Nanti-Sarrmm: Yeah Yellow M&M: um, let's see, you said but now you have a job, no? me: yes, but i need another one. you: And what if you can not work the hours you want? me: I will pray. you: No daughters-in-law! me: No, I won't fail. You: That is good. Sera chido if worshipers a mission to Wales. me: I will go. me again: food! after that, you said: that I was crazy, crazy! and I said: I won't disagree you said: You're too crazy? and I said: close enough. you said: Parangaricutirimicuaro! and i said: I'm going crazy. you said: is a twister. and I said: yes. you said: supaste it? and I said: I'm not going to fail. you said: hmmn... well, but my suspicion that knew it was a twister. You like pork? I said: yes. sometimes. you said: Salt? and I said: no. you said: you say?! and I said: I'm talking. you said: These tired? and i said: yes, and you? and you said: Not so much. Pachuka by toluka that? I said: I don't know. See? great fun! We talked about all sorts of things. It's sort of amazing that it makes sense, considering Nanti had little idea what I was saying.