hello, goodbye

Well, this past week has been interesting. Lots of family. Some friends. Last big week of work.

Today I turn in my Macey's uniform. For my second, and hopefully last, time. I'm really ready to be done. I think. To be honest, I will miss it. Parts of it at least. But, that part of my life is over. I will miss everyone I worked with. Good thing I'm friends with most of them on Facebook!

Tomorrow I'm going on a trip. For about two weeks. I'll be touring down south (well, southern utah, grand canyon, Las Vegas, etc) with my mom, granddad, and his friend. It will be lots of fun. But, I'm going to try to be away from my computer as much as possible. So, I probably won't blog. Not that I've been blogging much lately, anyway. Whoops. But, when I get back there will be pictures. And stories. Yay!

Daily Gratitudes:

1. My family. I'm so sad to see them all leave, but at least I'm leaving, too.

2. Friends. They cheer me up when I'm feeling most down.

3. Money to buy a plane ticket to visit Liz, who lives in New York. That's right, I'm going to upstate New York. Yay!

4. Technology. It makes talking to and seeing friends and family so much easier.

5. No longer working at Macey's. It was a fun job, but so very stressful.

Last friday post for a while. I think

So, I'm going on vacation next week. I still can't believe it's so close. Tomorrow's my last day at Macey's, monday's my last day at BYU custodial (for 3 weeks). I'm not sure how much I'll have internet or even want to be online during my trip. I'll try to post plenty of photos when I get back, though!

1. When I heard that I was going on a road trip, I wasn't as excited as I am now. 2. Laughter and great friends are the best medicine. 3. It's late, but at least I'm awake before noon.

4. I try to smile always.

5. My eyes have seen quite a bit, and yet not enough.

6. I can't figure out what to put before strongly.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my last friday night at Macey's, tomorrow my plans include going to the 4th of July Parade with my granddad and celebrating my last day at Macey's and Sunday, I want to bask in the family festivities surrounding my nephews blessing!

Love

Wait, no, that one also loses. How about a nice game of chess?

meme

Apparently this is a meme for grown ups. Since I consider myself mostly a grown up, I decided I'd mostly do this. You can do it, too. If you feel like it.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? About the only bill I pay right now is texting on my cell phone. And that's entirely my choice.

2. Do you miss being a child?

Yes. Especially days like today.

3. Chore you hate the most?

I'm learning to hate vacuuming, mainly due to my custodial job.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? I've never had a romantic dinner.

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? To give myself more self-esteem.

6. Name of your first grade teacher? I don't remember, sadly enough...

7. What do you really want to be doing right now?

Want to be doing? Spending time with friends. Should be doing? Sleeping.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to be an author. I figured it would be easy, since I love to read so much. Little did I know...

9. How many colleges did you attend? Technically? Two.

10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?

It was 4 am and I wanted something simple.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?

I don't own a car... so I try not to think about it. Other than I've noticed they're going up again.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? “So soon?”

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? “I wish I could get to sleep quicker.”

14. What famous people would you like to have dinner with? Um, I have no idea. Really.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle? Nope. I've been in the car when it's crashed, but never when I'm driving. Except that one crazy dream.

16. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer? Probably. I'd have to come up with something to do with my time.

17. Get up early or sleep in? Sleep in all the way. I really hate getting up early.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character? Um… don’t have one.

19. Favorite thing to do at night? Twitter, facebook, sleep, text a friend.

20. When did you first start feeling old? I don't really feel old. But maybe 20 I started feeling weird about my age.

21. Favorite lunch meat? Don't really have sandwiches that much. But one of my favorite meats at the deli is Kretchmar Buffalo Style Chicken Breast. So good. Except don't ever order it, since it is a very messy meat to slice. :)

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? An exercise in self-control.

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? Nope.

24. A favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about? Maybe Shawshank Redemption.

25. What’s your favorite drink? I'm a big fan of water right now. Maybe lemonade.

26. Whom from high school would you like to run in to? No one.

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? I don’t own a car, but it would be turned to either 99.5 or 101.9, depending on which one had no ads last.

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives? Neither.

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? My first (and only) kiss.

30. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? I don't sit down on my jobs, unless I'm on a break. And if I'm taking my break with someone, then yes, I like them.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes? Nope.

32. Last book you finished reading? Don't remember it's name. Borrowed it from my sister while she was here.

33. Do you have a teddy bear? Yes. Several, in fact.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? No idea.

35. Do you go to church? Every Sunday.

36. How old are you? 21.

37. Have you ever been arrested? No.

38. Have you ever attended a public protest against a major corporation or a government? Nope.

39. Do you feel that your type of employment traps you or liberates you?

Traps. Which is why I'm quitting Macey's (16 days left!).

40. Is voting a duty, a privilege, a right, or an option?

A duty and a privilege.

41. Have you ever sat on a jury? Almost. But it was cancelled.

42. Have you ever seen someone die? Yes. A few, actually.

43. Are you making any preparations for old age or for retirement? Not yet!

44. Do you have children? Or, if not, do you wish to? No, and yes.

45. Have you ever served in your country’s armed forces? No.

46. How is your relationship with your parents different from what it was when you were a child? I want to be more independent. I'm not sure my parents see me as a grown-up yet (but I don't really, either). It's more complicated now, that's for sure.

47. Have you ever had a substantial conversation with a homeless person? No.

48. If life is “a journey”, then where are you going? Crazy. Or just to see what's at the end of the road.

where I don't want to sleep

I stole this from a blog that I read. I just don't want to sleep right now.

*1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?* From the bible. :)

*2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED*

Today, actually. *3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? * Yep.

*5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?**

Nope. One day though. I have to get married first, though.

*6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Maybe.

*7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT*

Yeah. It's my second language or something.

*8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?*

Yep.

*9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?*

Never.

*10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?*

I haven't had much cereal lately.

*11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?*

Yeah.

*12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?*

Noo.

*13. FAVORITE **ICE CREAM**?*

Um, I actually recently found out I'm lactose intolerant. So I've been avoiding ice cream. Maybe one day I'll have it again.

*14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?*

Their eyes.

*15. RED OR PINK?*

Red

*16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?*

My insecurities.

*17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST*

Not sure.

*19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?*

I’m barefoot

*20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?*

A double chocolate chip cookie that I made myself.

*21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?*

Music. ;)

*22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?*

Green.

*23. FAVORITE SMELLS?*

Rain. Fresh cut grass. Some people.

*24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?*

My dad's cousin.

*26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?*

I'm not into sports.

*27. Hair Color?*

Brown, currently with light brown highlights.

*28. EYE COLOR?*

Brown.

**29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?**

Most days. I'm trying to get back into it.

*30. FAVORITE FOOD?*

No idea.

*31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?*

Happy

*32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?*

The end of Hook, the beginning of What About Bob.

*33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?**

White. With black letters.

*34. SUMMER OR WINTER?*

Summer all the way.

*35. HUGS OR KISSES?*

Hugs

* 36. FAVORITE DESSERT?*

Chocolate anything.

*39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?*

I’m in between books at the moment. No time!!!!

*40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?*

I am mouse-less. Laptop FTW!

*41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST Night? *

I never watch TV anymore. No time.

*42. FAVORITE SOUND?*

Music. My family's voices.

*43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?*

Neither.

*44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?*

England.

*45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?*

Not that I'm aware of.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?*

Provo, Utah.

Daily Gratitudes:

1- My family. Even though some of them are leaving tomorrow, I'm grateful for the time I've been able to spend with them.

2- Sleep. When I do convince myself to get it, it's great.

3- Work. I have 2 jobs that pay okay. At least I can afford collage without debt.

4- Friends who care.

5- Music that matches my mood.

friday, with 4 hours of sleep!

1. I grew up thinking that I wanted a younger sibling. I still want one, but I realize it was never an option. 2. Google Reader was the last website I was at before coming here. 3. Why don't you seem to require sleep, it's not fair! 4. Music, a warm bath, and talking to friends helps me relax. 5. Thanks for the love 6. Upsetting my best friend is very off-putting.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to taking a break with a certain friend, tomorrow my plans include sleep and Sunday, I want to sleep more!

hi

I'm still here.

I should be going to bed. But I wanted to say hello.

Life's not bad. Just interesting. It keeps catching me off guard. Maybe one day I'll be ready for it.

I'm trying to go back to getting more than 6 hours of sleep a night. Last night didn't work. Maybe tonight will.

I worked about 52 hours last week. I'm scheduled 37 this week. I have 3 days off. I've already had one. I dread going back to Macey's Wednesday.

Speaking of Macey's, my official last day is the 4th of July. My own personal independence day if you will. I've worked there so long, which really isn't that long, that I really just need to get a different job. But I'll stick with early morning custodial for a while.

I love having my sister here. I wish I was taking more pictures. But it's more fun without having to worry about a camera. Especially with the kids.

I'm officially back into one room, after 2 weeks of having stuff in two rooms. I have decided I have far too much stuff, but I don't know what to get rid of. Drat.

A friend of mine recently got unlimited texting. I think I'm going to be on my phone way too much when I'm not at the computer. I wish I could hang out with him more in real life, though. :)

Daily Gratitudes - I stole this from a fellow blogger, although stole isn't the right word, she's giving it away fair and square. She just says about 5 things at the end of each post that she's thankful for that day. Here are mine:

1- the internet. specifically, being able to talk to a friend on the internet.

2- I now have a fan in my room. which means I can now fall asleep to the sound of a fan, which is what I'm used to. hopefully this will help me fall asleep faster tonight.

3- having days off with no plans.

4- someone I can randomly text and have them text me back.

5- a dad who can install ceiling fans and fix lights and a million other things - when he's not in Australia.

friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!

1. sometimes, the best things happen at home. 2. My favorite thing for dinner lately has been actually being home for dinner - I don't care what I'm eating. 3. the other day I randomly said bark! bark! bark! 4. A nice long walk is fun, depending on who it's with. 5. I might be looking forward to some good news. 6. When all is said and done, it's all going to turn out okay. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to taking my break with a certain someone, tomorrow my plans include helping watch kids and Sunday, I want to actually get some sleep!

the tale of my cell phone

It is a sad tale, but one with a happy ending. Full of surprises and, um, intrigue? Never mind, I'll just tell the story.

Friday night I worked, like most friday nights. Which is usually way too busy for my liking. Why does everyone like getting ice cream cones on a Friday night anyway? Just because it's cheap, I guess.

Well, since I like to avoid customers sometimes (shhh, don't tell my boss), I was working in the back, cleaning out fryers and such. We got done early, and I grabbed my phone from my apron (yes, since I was in the back, I had it handier than usual). I was pretty sure I either put it in my pocket, or in my purse. Then, a coworker gave me a ride home.

When I got home, my mom and sister were talking, and I joined the conversation. We were up past 1 am, I believe. So, it wasn't until then that I noticed that I didn't have my phone. This is a bit of a problem, since I don't have an alarm clock in my room, I just use my phone. Luckily, I worked out a way to use my iPod as an alarm, and went to bed. I figured I just left it upstairs, or at worst at Macey's. No big deal.

This morning I got up and looked upstairs. No phone. But, I thought it was probably at Macey's. And, since I worked, I figured I'd find it. Well, I got to work and didn't see it. Asked my coworkers, no one had seen it. I started freaking out. I can't really afford a new phone right now. So, then I told myself it was in my coworkers car. It must have just fallen out of my pocket, and it would be right on the seat. Maybe she even saw it! For, she worked today, too. Maybe she'd bring it in with her.

Well, she arrived, and no phone. But, she figured she probably just didn't see it in her car. After my pitiful 2 hour shift, I borrowed her keys and went to look for it.

And it wasn't there. At all.

I searched everywhere in her car that my phone could possibly be. It was nowhere to be found. By this time, I'm really scared. I don't want to lose my phone. There's important stuff on it. Pictures, phone numbers, losing it would be awful.

But, as I'm walking back to give my coworker her keys, and idea pops into my head, an inspired idea: check the lost and found. Maybe it did fall somewhere, and someone picked it up, and turned it in. I figured I might as well check.

I went to the service desk and asked "Do you have a phone?"

"Is it red?" she asked.

"Yes." Then, she handed me my phone.

And all was right in the world, once again

maybe

yes or no

RULES: 1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No. 2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems and....here we goooooo........ Kissed any one of your Facebook friends?--- YES Been arrested? --- NO Kissed someone you didn't like? --- NO Slept in until 5 PM? --- NO Fallen asleep at work/school? --- YES Held a snake? --- NO Ran a red light? --- YES Been suspended from school? --- NO Experienced love at first sight? --- NO Totaled your car in an accident? --- NO Been fired from a job? --- NO Fired somebody? --- NO Sang karaoke? --- YES Pointed a gun at someone? --- NO Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- YES Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- NO Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- YES Kissed in the rain? --- NO Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- NO Seen someone die? --- YES Played spin-the-bottle? --- NO Sang in the shower? --- YES Smoked a cigar? --- NO Sat on a rooftop? --- YES Smuggled something into another country? --- NO Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- NO Broken a bone? --- NO Skipped school? --- YES Eaten a bug? --- NO Sleepwalked? --- NO Walked a moonlit beach? --- NO Rode a motorcycle? -- NO Dumped someone? --- NO Forgotten your anniversary? --- NO Lied to avoid a ticket? ---- NO Ridden on a helicopter? --- NO Shaved your head? --- NO Played a prank on someone? --- YES Hit a home run? -- NO Felt like killing someone? --- YES Cross-dressed? --- NO Been falling-down drunk? --- NO Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- NO Eaten snake? --- NO Marched/Protested? --- NO Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- NO Puked on amusement ride? --- NO Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- NO Been in a band? --- NO Knitted? --- YES Been on TV? --- NO Shot a gun? --- NO Skinny-dipped? --- NO Caused someone to have stitches? --- NO Eaten a whole habenero pepper? --- NO Ridden a surfboard? --- NO Had surgery? --- NO Streaked? --- NO Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- NO Passed out when not drinking? --- NO Peed on a bush? --- NO Donated Blood? --- YES Grabbed electric fence? --- NO Eaten alligator meat? --- NO Eaten cheesecake? --- YES Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- NO Killed an animal when not hunting? --- NO Peed your pants in public? --- YES Snuck into a movie without paying? --- NO Written graffiti? --- NO Still love someone you shouldn't? --- NO Think about the future? --- YES Been in handcuffs? --- NO Believe in love? --- YES Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- YES

It's still friday, technically...

1. Moving: it's what I'm doing next week! 2. Love is free. 3. My best quality is my sense of humor. 4. details details...who needs them? (besides me, of course) 5. In nearly 10 years, I might have finally graduated collage. 6. Sleep and finishing my book is what I need right now! 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing cute boy from work and getting out of work early, tomorrow my plans include going through boxes and Sunday, I want to sleep!

when my hair turned straight, then back to curly

So, yeah. Hi! I've been busy. Maybe? Here are some pictures from last week. And I have more, once I get them off my camera.

Wednesday I spent the day with my great friend, Elizabeth (I've sort of given up on calling people by fake names. I guess I'm not really creative or something. Oh well, if you know which elizabeth this is, you're a genius anyway). She's going on a mission in August, so I wanted to hang out with her before she went home in June.

We went to the temple, which is always a great experience. I need to go more often, really. Then we had breakfast. She made me waffles! Such a great friend. Then she took a nap. And I hung out online. Which is what I love to do. Which is probably a bad thing.

Anyway, when she woke up, we decided to have lunch - sandwiches! But then we wanted to go swimming, but we couldn't, since we just ate. Whoops. It was all good though, I talked with someone on line, and that was happy. :^)

So, we finally went swimming, though the water was FREEZING! We basically stayed in the sauna most of the time. Which was fun. Then we went back and showered. and then, Elizabeth straightened my hair! Here are pics, taken from my computer (which was on my lap):

At the beginning. Now, I didn't do anything to my hair after I got out of the shower (except we towel dried it a bit). I usually don't go out in public like this...

My hair is quite thick...

Halfway there!

Doing the back. And smiling oddly. Wait, that's just her excited smile.

Almost done.

Yay!

The finished product. I don't know, it looks kind of weird to me. Most people said I looked pretty good, but my sister and brother-in-law said I looked like i belonged in an '80's rock band. What do you think?

And, my hair today (did I mention that I got a haircut last week? I don't remember...)

'tis friday.

1. If we had no winter I'd be happier sometimes. 2. Life is a perpetual astonishment. 3. If I had my life to live over I wouldn't worry so much. 4. Amazing how much I can do inside of four and twenty hours. 5. If you've never been thrilled don't worry, it's coming. 6. To be interested in the changing seasons just pay attention to Utah weather: sunny one day, snow the next! 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working/seeing someone, tomorrow my plans include helping my sister work and Sunday, I want to go to choir!

stuff.

So, it went well. :^D

And we're hanging out thursday.

Life's great.

I remember why I avoid wal-mart: I have no money.

I like having 3 days off in a row.

My sister is moving out. Which means I'm moving in to the basement apartment.

I got my hair cut. It's weird. And really short.

I like having my mom home. She actually cooks!

Happy Tuesday!

friday - on cloud nine

Don't worry, I'll tell you all about the date when I have time. Just know this - it went really well. :^D

1. Apples are to oranges as texting is to talking in person - similar, but not enough that one counts as another.

2. Last night was awesome! and that's all I have to say about that.

3. I think I hear birds singing.

4. I love the flag.

5. Do what you want to do, but I don't have to join in.

6. There he was and behind him was a Radio Flyer wagon; in the wagon was a bucket filled with worms.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing him, tomorrow my plans include going to a wedding reception and a game night and Sunday, I want to celebrate mother's day with my mom.

$375

On Saturday I got a check in the mail for $375 - apparently they overcharged me on one of my tests.

So now for the real question - what to do with it?

I could:

- buy an iPod Touch

- buy a guitar

- pay for a plane ticket to New York

- put it towards my road trip

- put it towards books/tuition

- buy clothes

- buy makeup

- be boring and save it

What would you do with an extra $375?

awesome possum

So, this week has been interesting. I got a new nephew and a flat tire on Monday (no, you don't get to hear the story about the flat now. Maybe later, like in 10 years when I don't feel so stupid).

I don't remember much of Tuesday or Wednesday (I guess they were that bad, I blocked them out. :^D ). Yesterday I finally made it to bed on time. And tonight, well tonight was fun. :^D

So, about last Thursday or Friday, it came time for me to take my break. I pulled out the leftovers I had brought, and was about to put in my earbuds to listen to my iPod, when a guy asked "Can I sit by you?" It was another employee, one I had probably seen before, but never really talked to that much. And I never remembered having a break with him before. (But usually when I take my break, there aren't many/any other employees taking breaks. At least not where I take my break). So, I was a little surprised. But, since I'm friendly, I said yes.

And we talked for 15 minutes (the length of his break). We talked about all sorts of things. It was fun. And when he had to go, I found myself thinking "Huh, I want to talk to him again. Too bad I'll probably never have a break with him again" (He had mentioned that he was running a little late on his break). I was a little sad, but went on with my night, same as usual.

Saturday I was working, and he stopped by to get dinner. I wished it was time for me to take my break, but alas, I couldn't take it for another 30 minutes +, and by that time he was off his break.

This past week I saw him little (either he brought his own lunch, or he bought something when I was otherwise occupied), until today, when I went out to take my break and saw him sitting there, and asked if I could join him.

We had a very nice conversation about guitars and animated films (I don't remember how they're connected, actually. hmmm...). And it ended with him asking me out. And, of course, I said yes. (During the whole conversation I was trying to figure out a way to ask him out, but I think this way's better. ;^) )

Now, to be honest, he never actually said "Will you go on a date with me?". It was more "We should hang out sometime", and then "What about next Thursday?" and then "Well, I don't usually watch movies on a first date, but we'll see" (I figure that since he did mention date, that it is a date. And if it ends up not being one, I'll ask him out anyway).

So, next Thursday after work I have a date. Am I crazy? Perhaps. I will get little sleep that night. But will it be worth it? I say yes.

friday fill-ins, explained

So, it has come to my attention that not everyone knows what fridays are all about. I get this template from a blog called, unsurprisingly, friday fill-ins. The writer of this blog creates sentences, but you have to fill in the blanks with whatever you feel like. Here's this weeks:

1. The first rule of working in an office and getting along is actually working in an office, something I've never done.

2. My dad loves clams.

3. When I think of carnivals I think of the old Valtek Carnival my family used to go to every year (my dad used to work for Valtek).

4. I don't know my favorite spring flower. (there are too many good ones!)

5. Things on my desk include um, I actually don't have a desk right now, maybe next month.

6. Having a bad day makes me wanna take a bath and ignore the world.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to work (not really), tomorrow my plans include cleaning my room and Sunday, I want to make cookies, since I'm assigned to bring treats this week!

wordless wednesday

dreams

I've been sleeping little at night (due to not going to bed until 10:30 or later), so I've taken up a habit of coming home from work and taking a nap. Today, I figured I only needed a one hour nap, but with the help of snooze, it turned into a one and a half hour nap. Whoops?

What was interesting about todays nap was the dream(s) I had.

First I was at work, custodial. I was dusting the hallway or something (I do that when I'm really bored, and don't want to just sit down). Suddenly my sister was there, and my brother. Both live in Houston. All their kids were there, too. This wouldn't be so strange, but after they showed up, my 5 year old nephew picked me up. And he was almost as tall as me. Strange?

After that, I don't remember much, except my other sister was there, telling me I had to get up and clean my room (something I was going to do today. Maybe after my second job?). When I woke up for reals, I felt really guilty about this.

The final last thing I remember, is I dreamt that I woke up, and was checking my text messages, and it turns out I had gotten one from Sam. But, when I really woke up, it wasn't on my phone. Odd? I say yes.

I doubt these mean anything, other than I'm excited for family to come in June, I feel guilty for not cleaning my room, and I text too much.

stress

Why is it just when you think you've got things figured out, you don't?

Why is it that some of my best days are also my worst?

For heaven's sake, why the heck does my body try to kill me when I get stressed?

the dictation

I'm sorry, I promised a more in-depth post about my doctors appointment. Unfortunately, sometimes life has other plans. But, yesterday I received the dictation of the appointment in the mail, looked over it, and decided I had to blog about it.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the dictation is basically the doctors notes from the visit. After I left (or later that day), he pulled out a tape recorder, and basically recapped the appointment, what we talked about, what I have to do, etc. And actually, I find parts of it quite hilarious.

It's split up into parts, and I'll do the same here. I won't do it word for word, unless there's a particularly amusing part (which there are some that I found quite hilarious), or the section's so short that if I don't do it word for word, there's no point.

warning: this might be quite long.

INDICATIONS:

"Aortic Stenosis, aortic insufficiency, mitral stenosis." This is what I have. My aorta artery is enlarged, which means it's not functioning right. The valve isn't opening all the way, so it can't let as much blood in as it should, and it's not closing all the way, so it's letting some blood back in, which then has to be repumped. Also, my mitral artery also has the same problem, but since it's not a major artery, the doctor isn't concerned about it.

HISTORY:

This recounts our first conversation. We talked about how I'm attending BYU, studying Computer Science. How they found the murmur, etc. It talks about how my echocardiogram was "suboptimal", so I got a transesophageal echocardiogram, which "[showed] normal left ventricular systolic function, thickened aortic valve leaflets, with moderate to severe aortic stenosis, peak velocity of 4.5 meters/second, calculated valve area of .9 cm squared." Doesn't that sound fun?

This also says "[yellow m&m] reports having dyspnea with exertion ever since elementary school. She could never exercise like her peers." Doesn't that sound fun? Dyspnea might just be my new favorite word. (fyi, dyspnea is just a fancy word for shortness of breath).

My favorite part: "She denies orthopnea, paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea, palpitations, tachycardia, chest pain and syncope." Now, I have no idea what any of those mean, but they sound really cool, right?

CARDIOVASCULAR RISK FACTORS:

This just says I don't know of any time that I had rheumatic fever, but I've had strep a few times.

PAST SURGICAL HISTORY:

"Negative." Yep, never had surgery. Woot!

PAST MEDICAL HISTORY:

This talks about my thyroid problem, and says I have no history of anything else.

SOCIAL HISTORY:

This just says I grew up in Utah, is a Junior at BYU, and working two part time jobs.

HABITS:

Talks about how I like to drink caffeinated beverages every once in a while, but I don't use alcohol, tobacco or street drugs.

REVIEW OF SYSTEMS:

"The review of systems is negative except for that described above."

PHYSICAL EXAMINATION:

This is my favorite sentence: "The patient is a pleasant young woman in no current distress." I should put that on facebook or something. This just gives blood pressure, pulse, etc. I also like this "The chest is nontender." No idea what that really means though.

ELECTROCARDIOGRAM:

Describes the EKG findings - I have a problem.

IMPRESSIONS:

Basically, this part says that we don't know exactly how bad it is, but that the level of my dyspnea is out of proportion to what we think is wrong.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

Cardiac MRI.

where I hate stairs

I was going to post this a while ago. I thought I'd have more to say about why I hate stairs. But, since I've tried taking stairs out of my daily life, my life has actually improved. Of course, my room is upstairs so I have to take some. So, without further ado, why I hate stairs:

So, I hate stairs. Really. They suck.

Even a set of 10 stairs can take my breath away. Literally.

I will go all out of my way to avoid any sort of stairs.

They're just so old-fashioned. Shouldn't we have moved past the stairs by now?

Not that there should be no stairs at all, just a few here and there.

New Plan

Apparently I need a boyfriend ASAP.

Any volunteers?

This week - the aftermath

I survived. Somehow (although the week isn't quite over yet).

Finals? check.

Doctors appointment? check.

Help my friend move out? check.

Work? check.

Sleep? half check. (I slept in this morning. That was beautiful)

I guess next week is the "mom gets home soon, CLEAN!" frenzy. Wish me luck.

my sometimes-favorite day

1. Apparently there's some sort of cleaning going on. 2. It's a sunny day. 3. 2009 has actually been kind of crappy so far. 4. You know that was it. 5. For too long I've been in denial. 6. I am not obsessed with you; I am not! 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working, tomorrow my plans include working and Sunday, I want to do something...i don't know what yet!

wait, do I need to put something here?

THE RULES: Step 1: respond and rework—answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own. Step 2: tag—other people. Make a list of things you can see without getting up: Lots of boxes. a couch. my friend and her sister. chairs. Favorite football team: I always have this hope that BYU will be awesome. What are you wearing now? T-shirt and pants. a hat. What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? The Wednesday Letters. Do you nap a lot? I wish. Who was the last person you hugged? Liz. What’s your current obsession/addiction? MP3 players. What was the last thing you said aloud? "That would be fine." What Web sites do you always visit when you go online? gmail. google reader. facebook. cnet. the board mb. What was the last thing you bought? cinnamon sticks for breakfast. What are you listening to right now? someone walking across the floor. myself typing. What is something you wish you could do more? Sleep. read. What gives you hope? Peace. What is your favorite weather, and why? Sunny. Temperatures in the 70's or 80's. What time do you usually get up? 4:05 am (after snooze) What is your most challenging goal right now? To find peace. If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? England. or possibly Houston. Favorite vacation spot? Houston. 3 of my siblings live there. Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: Staying up late reading. Have you ever met anyone famous? No. If you could have any job in the world , what would it be? A mom. Or maybe a gadget tester. What was the last thing you ate? Popcorn? maybe.

If you had $500 in your hand right now.... what would you do with it? Ohh, so many tempting things. But I'd probably just put it in the bank. If you didn't have a job or go to school what would you do with your time? Hang out with friends. Find a job. What is your favorite place to go out to eat and what do you order? I don't go out to eat enough. But right now, I'd say Los Hermanos. and the Taco Loco is always good. What is your very first memory? My brothers playing with fire in the basement. What is one thing that scares you more than anything else? Does the future count? What cheers you up? My friends. Twitter. Would you rather experience a tornado or a hurricane? Probably a hurricane.

If you could buy one CD right now, what would it be? No Name Face by Lifehouse.

Sam, I choose you!

happy earth day

Not that I've done anything for earth day. Whoops.

So. Maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll do a full post on the past few days. For now, here's a few highlights:

- Sunday I got a new calling.

- Monday went well. Except for the part that I found out my Drs. appointment was Tuesday instead of Thursday (and in the middle of a final, too!) Rushed to campus to finish final(it was take home) and turn it in.

-Tuesday I went to the doctors. Basically I have a few things wrong, but the two tests we've had done aren't accurate enough. So I get to have a Cardio MRI. In May.

-Today I finished my last final. And I'm headed to work. Tonight I sleep long and hard.

stalking

Is it considered stalking if you either a) ask permission first or b) get asked to do it?

next week

So, this week was nice. Only one day of classes, one last assignment to finish, and a few days to relax. To prepare for next week. Which looks like this:

Monday: Pick up CS 142 final. Try not to faint in horror. Work both jobs.

Tuesday: Turn in Mission Prep final. Work on 142 final. Work one job.

Wednesday: Turn in 142 final. Breath a sigh of relief that finals are done. Work both jobs.

Thursday. Go to the Cardiologist. Find out details about my heart. Work both jobs.

Friday: Say goodbye to my friend. Clean the house. Work both jobs.

Saturday: Finish planning my summer. Work one job.

Yes, I'm working 43 hours next week. While finishing up school. I sort of hate my manager at Macey's. But, someone left at the Deli, so I 'get' to pick up some of her hours. Go me. I guess I'll like my paycheck.

As a side note, I hope the snow's gone for good this time. Hear that Winter? It's over, give up. You're just giving Utah weather a bad name.

please?

Can I just run away? Not that it would help, but maybe I'd get some sleep.

what if...

life sucks sometimes. well, make that most of the time. i guess you'd say life's all in your attitude. but what if you didn't care anymore? what if it hurt so much, you didn't care about being happy, or even pretending to be happy?

what if friends try to help, but don't realize how they can help? what if they try something, and it doesn't work, because you've tried it yourself? what if it makes things worse?

"what if it does?" a voice whispers. "what if this is what you need to get you going again?" you try to ignore the voice, but it won't go away. it nags at you.

you almost want to give in, if only for some hope. but you know that if it turned out badly, you'd only hurt more. you don't want to allow yourself hope. the pain is numb now, almost comforting.

what if there was one thing you knew would help, but it was as out of reach as the moon? or the stars?

what if...

is that my laptop?

Saturday I worked. This isn't an unusual occurrence, I work most Saturday's now. I'm almost used to it, actually. But this Saturday we had company in town: my dad's cousin's wife, some of her kids, and a foreign exchange student who was living with them. They all drove down from California for General Conference (which hopefully I'll talk about later this week).

But, after work on Saturday (I worked from about 3-11:30 pm), I walked in and found most of my second cousins still awake, watching Cinderella (in VHS, since we don't own it in DVD). The first thing I noticed? The foreign exchange student had a mac on his lap. Cool, I thought. I'm not the only mac lover in the family. But, then I looked closer. Something about it seemed familiar. And that's when it hit me: That's my laptop! I thought. I made eye contact with him, and he said "Oh, I was just using it to check the weather." They were driving back to California the next morning. A valid reason, I suppose. Except it is MINE, I thought. "Do you need it now?" he asked. "No, I'll be down in a minute." My hands were full anyway, I didn't want to risk dropping it (again).

I returned and grabbed it. He seemed really nice, and he had only used it for a few things (although myspace keeps showing up on "recently visited", despite the fact that I don't use it, and he only used it to "check the weather).

But, he did use it without asking. True, I was unreachable. And it was just lying on the table. I was at work. So, is he justified? Or, should he have just waited until I got home, or asked one of my siblings to use their computers (they each have one, really)?

Even though I'm not really upset about it, it's one of the things that makes me go "hmm".

first friday in April

And...here we go! 1. Angel or not, I will try not to die. 2. I won't be any way you want me. 3. As my mother used to say, you're full of it. 4. I eat ice cream after I'm done working out or doing something strenuous. 5. Even in the most crowded of rooms I can feel alone. 6. Today is a day fraught with peril. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to not working, but being with friends out and about!, tomorrow my plans include watching conference and working and Sunday, I want to watch conference with family or friends!

shuffle, shuffle

Since I'm a sucker for all sorts of blog memes, I read this and decided I really wanted to do it.

It's one of the simpler one's I've ever come across.

Open iTunes, or your music player of choice.

Go to your main library, where all your music is.

Push shuffle.

List the first 20 songs that play.

Now, I have just over 1000, and have quite a variety, so this will be interesting. Note: I am not including unchecked songs.

Nine In the Afternoon, Panic at the Disco

Frog and Toad, Chris And Dan (from Guitars Unplugged 2009)

We're not the Hundred Hour Band, 100 Hour Band (from the 100 hour board)

What Would You Say, Dave Matthews Band

Easier to Be, Lifehouse

The One I Love, Greg Laswell

Can You Feel It Now?, Tremolo

Never Think (Twilight Soundtrack Version), Rob Pattinson

Over You, Daughtry

September, Earth, Wind & Fire

Feels Like Tonight, Daughtry

It's You, Nichole Sheahan (from Guitars Unplugged 2009)

The Hardest Part, Coldplay

Where the Story Ends (Piano Version), The Fray

It's Beginning to Get to Me, Snow Patrol

If This Is Goodbye, Lifehouse

The Space Between, Dave Matthews Band

All the Trees Of The Field Will Clap Their Hands, Sufjan Stevens

City of Blinding Lights (2005 Live from Milan), U2

Hunger For The Great Light, Dave Matthews Band

yesterday

So, yesterday was interesting. And fun. In an odd sort of way.

I got to the hospital right on time, and had plenty of fun paperwork to fill out. Mainly "Have you ever..." and "Do you..." questions. Most of these I answered no. I got my bracelet - it's so fashionable I decided to keep wearing it for a few days. I'll probably cut it off tonight.

After all that fun stuff - including paying for the dang thing (hey, I'm a poor college student, even with insurance this isn't cheap) - I was taken back to a bed. I changed into one of those highly fashionable hospital gowns, and waited.

I really liked my nurse. His name was Bob, and he actually had a sense of humor! He put in my IV (although the equipment malfunctioned and he had to do it again), and explained to me a little of what was going to happen.

Then we waited. Eventually they called my name again and a different nurse came, put the rails up on my bed, and rolled me down the hall and into the room where they did the actual test. But first I had to gargle this disgusting stuff. They even said it was really gross, as they handed it to me. Somehow I got through it. Then someone else injected the sedative into my IV and the last thing I remember was laying on my side.

When I woke up, I was back in the other small room, with my sister sitting in the chair next to me (Did I tell you - my pregnant sister is the one who got to take me, since I couldn't drive myself home. :^D ). Just a few minutes after I was waking up, some friends came to say hello. We had some very interesting conversations. Which I will not recount. I blame the drugs and my sister.

Finally, they gave me some juice, so I could clean out my mouth (it still tasted gross). I proved I was awake because of how I handled the straw so awesomly. Go me!

They told us (mainly my sister) some of what they found: two of my valves are small, and have scaring. The scaring is usually from rheumatic fever, or Strep. I had Strep once, so it must be from that. Anyway, I have to meet with my regular doctor, who will read the notes which were taken by the doctor who did my procedure, and my regular doctor will tell me more. Then I get to find a Cardiologist, who will become my friend for life, I fear.

Then I got up and was surprised at how woobly I was. I joked with my sister how I had chosen a pregnant lady to help me - bad idea! But, we made it home just fine. I collapsed in a lay-z-boy, and had a nice nap. I woke up, had lunch with my sister and a neighbor friend - Rozanny - and then took a bath.

That evening I went over to Rozanny's and had a good time - playing with her daughter, Ada, and watching movies.

I did go to bed at a reasonable time - it was before 9 pm at least. But, I forgot to change my alarm or something, so I sort of slept through work this morning. Whoops! But, I did tell them I might not be in, so I'm sure it'll be just fine when I go tomorrow.

Yay for adventures!

the night before

It's here. If all goes well, I'm going to be done in 12 hours.

Tomorrow morning at 6:30 am I will be leaving my house to go to the hospital.

My appointment is at 7.

And, supposedly I will be done by 9.

Some friends have said they will come and visit me while I am there, which sounds interesting.

I'm still scared to death.

I don't really know why.

It's a new experience.

Something different.

Something I've never done before.

My parents are far away.

My best friend has class.

But I won't be alone.

I will have my sister.

And some good friends.

It will be okay.

I hope.

I pray.

I know.

friday!

1. "In a hole in the ground there lived a mole." 2. "I have no money, but that ain't no matter." 3. "After dark the rain began to fall again, bringing life back to the world" 4. "I stole this back from the hold of the Spanish galleon." 5. "There was a hand in the darkness, and it grabbed mine, feeling familiar." 6. "Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, of who I am a part." 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to not much, tomorrow my plans include hanging out with friends (hopefully!) and Sunday, I want to sleep, or take a bath!

pandora and feeling better

I don't think I've mentioned my love for pandora lately. If you don't know what it is, check it out here. You choose a song, or an artist, and it creates a station based on it. You can then rate songs you like with a thumbs up (so it plays more songs like it) or a thumbs down (it never plays that song again, and it won't play songs like it).

So here I am, trying to do homework, when I get the brilliant idea to pull up pandora (I don't use it as much as I should, really). So I do, and it automatically plays "Up!" by Shania Twain. Which, of course, was the best song for me to hear right now.

I'm going up. I have to.

um, I don't know what to put here

Hi. I'm still here. Really.

My no-dairy test hasn't really been working well. I keep accidentally eating dairy products. But, I'm still trying. I'm eating much less then usual, so hopefully this still works. If not, I'll try again. Later. When I'm not craving chocolate. :^)

I got the test results back from my Echo test. Kind of. They didn't really tell me what's wrong. Just that they needed me to do another test. A TransEsophageal EchoCardiogram. So much fun. It's scheduled for tuesday, which is nice since I have no school that day. And for this test, they have to sedate me. Which actually scares me half to death, since I haven't ever been sedated before. Luckily even though my mom will be out of town, my sister will be there for me. I have to have someone to drive me home, anyway!

the test

So, there's this possibility that I might be lactose intolerant. Something about half my family suffering from this, and according to my mom I've been showing symptoms my whole life. Not sure I believe her.

Anyway, while I was at the doctors last week, my mom asked him about it, since I wasn't going to. He said I could do this really expensive test, or do a free test of my own. Of course I'm *totally* made of money, so I chose the free option (duh!).

The test is this: go one week without any dairy. No butter, milk, or, worst of all, cheese. Then, you get a big glass of milk, drink it, and see what happens. It should be fairly obvious if you're intolerant or not.

My biggest problem is the cheese. I don't really eat real butter, I don't like drinking real milk, and I've not been craving ice cream lately. But I absolutely adore cheese. It's one of my three main food groups (which are, by the way, chocolate, cheese, and everything else).

Wish me luck!

friday

1. Why do we have to go to work?

2. Reading the board and google reader are now habits. 3. I have problems. 4. I had never heard the phrase "don't date at work" and it doesn't matter because all the guys at my work are married anyway. 5. I love the way I always do. 6. How was I to know that I'm not perfect. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dying at work, tomorrow my plans include dying at work and Sunday, I want to sleep all day!

that one thing

It's been going around, and I'm such a copy cat....

"X" marks the things I have done during my lifetime: (X) Been to Canada (X) Been to Mexico (X) Been to Florida (O) Been to Hawaii (O) Gone on a blind date (O) Skipped school (X) Watched someone die (X) Been on a plane (O) Been on a helicopter (X) Ben lost (X) Been an extra in a film (O) Been to a TV show taping (O) Visited Washington, DC (O) Traveled by San Francisco trolley (X) Traveled to Europe (O) Traveled to Asia (O) Went to the top of the World Trade Center (O) Been to Notre Dame (Cathedral) (X) Been to Jamaica (X) Swam in the ocean (X) Cried yourself to sleep (X) Played cops and robbers (X) Recently colored with crayons (O) Skipped a final exam (X) Sang Karaoke (O) Watched the birth of a child (O) Paid for a meal with coins only (O) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch (X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (O) Made prank phone calls (O) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans (O) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue (X) Danced in the rain (X) Written a letter to Santa Claus (O) Been kissed under the mistletoe (O) Watched the sunrise with someone (X) Blown bubbles (X) Gone ice-skating (O) Gone to the movies in 2009 (O) Been deep sea fishing (O) Driven across the United States (O) Been in a hot air balloon (O) Been sky diving (O) Gone snowmobiling (O) Lived in more than one country (X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets (X) Seen a falling star and made a wish (O) Seen the Old Faithful Geyser (O) Seen the Statue of Liberty (O) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle (X) Been on a cruise (X) Traveled by train (O) Traveled by motorcycle (X) Been horse back riding (O) Been to Disneyland, Disney World, and Japan's Disneyland (X) Been pulled over by a police officer (But I wasn't driving and it wasn't my car) (O) Gotten a ticket (X) Truly believe in the power of prayer (X) Been in a rain forest (O) Seen whales in the ocean (O) Been to Niagara Falls (O) Ridden on an elephant (X) Swam with dolphins (O) Been to the Olympics (O) Sat on a jury (O) Learned to juggle (O) Walked on the Great Wall of China (O) Saw a glacier (O) Been spinnaker flying (O) Been water-skiing (O) Been snow-skiing (X) Been to Westminster Abbey (O) Been to the Louvre (O) Swam in the Mediterranean (O) Been to a Major League Baseball game (O) Been to a National Football League game (O) Been to a Professional Soccer game

the doctors & my heart

So, there was this time that I hadn't been to the doctors in three years. I was sort of petrified to go, but my mom said she'd go with me, and be there for me.

Well, I went this morning. Wow. That was not fun.

Don't worry, I won't go into details. Except one: I have a heart murmur.

I've had it for years (my pediatrition told me about it), but we all thought it would just go away. Or something. I think my mom forgot all about it. Until today.

There is something wrong with a valve in my heart. What exactly, I won't find out until after a test on Wednesday. I have two responses to this:

1 - Oh, that's why I've never been athletic? That's why I HATE stairs so much? Whoo, and here I thought I was just really lazy. At least now I have an excuse why I don't like to run.

2 - Holy Cow, there's a problem? With my heart?!?! What the heck? What does that mean? What's wrong? Mommy!

I have a test (EKG? Something like that?) on Wednesday. I probably won't even find out exactly what's going on for a few more weeks. Which isn't fair, really.

I'm trying to tell myself "I've lived with it this long, I'm sure it'll be fine", but the other half of me wants it to be my excuse for everything now "I can't, I have a heart murmur."

Here's hoping I find a good balance.

Have a great day!

Change

I've been thinking. Yes, I do that sometimes.

This blog address doesn't really fit me anymore.

I'm not an accountingchick. Maybe I once was, but no more.

I think I'm going to change it.

Any ideas?

(oh, and I will let you all know what my new address is. :^D)

again?

Another friday, happy day! Don't forget to celebrate pi day tomorrow!

1. When I look to the left, I see my friends fridge. And her food. 2. The sun room is one room that has the best view in my home. 3. Let it work so I don't have to. 4. Nothing I do is done dirt cheap! 5. Jury duty is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share. 6. If you have any money feel free to contribute to the 'I 'need' a new iPod' fund. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping , tomorrow my plans include sleeping in and Sunday, I want to sleep. Maybe take a bath.

first off,

I stole this from erinannie. Why not?

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?

I actually didn't go to prom with anyone. I sort of snuck in. I can give more details, if you want.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

Sort of. Not really.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Nothing. Unless I did it unknowingly.

4. What was your FIRST job?

Other than helping my mom around the house with different things (including helping out with my grandparents and great aunt), BYU Catering. Ah, those were the days.

5. What was your FIRST car?

I don't own a car. I use my parents (is that lame?).

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?

Twitter.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?

:^D Someone...

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?

I don't remember. Saddness.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

England. With my parents. When I was 4 months old.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?

I don't remember her name. Which means we don't still talk.

11. Where was your FIRST sleepover?

Um, my parents didn't allow sleepovers when I was young. Which means I guess it was technically when I slept over at my cousins. But it was more "I"m staying the night here" then "We're partying all night".

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

Other than myself? Raven, at work.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?

My sisters. I was a flower girl.

14. What was the FRIST thing you did this morning?

Went to work.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

Jon Schmit. Yes, I'm lame.

16. FIRST tattoo?

Never gotten one.

17. FIRST piercing?

18. ears.

18. FIRST foreign country you visited?

England.

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?

Lion King. In the theatre.

20. When was your FIRST detention?

Never. I was a goody two-shoes.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?

Utah.

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?

Elise.

23. If you had one wish, what would it be?

To read the males mind. Or at least understand them a little better.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?

How to understand people perfectly.

25. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?

Liz, perhaps.

choices, choices

This summer, I want to do something. It might be my last summer to do something fun and crazy, since next summer I should probably start doing internships or something actually relevant to the rest of my life (weird, right?). So, I have two main choices:

1- I applied to the Wales study abroad. I was accepted as an alternate, which means I still have a pretty good chance of going, it will just be shorter notice (aka, will cost more for things like plane ticket). If I go, I will lose my job at Macey's, and will only get back about 2-3 days before school starts. I will be able to go early, or stay late and visit family over there. Length: 7-8 weeks. Cost: over $4,000

2- Ironically enough, during the same time I'd be in Wales, my granddad is coming over to the states with his girlfriend. They, along with my mother, will be going to various sites in California, Arizona and Texas including: my siblings, my second cousins, Disneyland, Houver Dam, and the Grand Canyon. If I go, it will be for a shorter time (therefore I have a greater chance of getting my job back when I return). Also: I would have enough time/money to visit a friend in New York, and we'd be driving through Tuscan, where an old roommate lives (who no longer goes to BYU). Length: 3-4 weeks. Cost: less than $1,000

Either one would be great. I love the thought of going to Wales, even if I don't have enough money to pay tuition when I come back. But, on the other hand, I want to spend time with my Granddad, since this may be my last chance (ever) to spend some great time with him, and my mom.

Which one?

creation

The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a handmade gift from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. There's a small catch though...Post this same thing on your own blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in. Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift!

Go on! I know you want to...

friday.

1. Holding the door open for a stranger was my last random act of kindness.

2. Another place same me.

3. I am unversed in matters of the heart.

4. Coffee, tea or tobacco are against my values, which are taken from the Word of Wisdom.

5. There are many different separate paths (that I could take right now).

6. Our love in daily life reminds me that there is a Heavenly Father who loves me.

7. As for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to earning money for the summer, tomorrow my plans include A DATE!!, and Sunday, I want to go to bed early for once.

what a deal

As some of you (hopefully at least one of you) know, U2 released their newest album today. I had been hearing about it for the past few weeks. I had been looking forward to it. Then I found this.

I tried to tell myself that I didn't need it. I tried to say that it didn't matter.

I made a mistake: I went to u2.com and listened to the album online (and yes, that's the whole album. not just 30 second clips).

And fell in love.

I made it to 4 pm before I cracked.

tuesday. or maybe monday.

Yesterday.

Mondays are always hard for me. I get to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday, sometimes I sleep as late as 9 am! Woot! But, as always, on Monday I have to get up at 4 am. Drag myself to the shower, and try to wake up. Sometimes it works. Yesterday was one of those days.

Work was kind of fun. I now clean the third floor (as opposed to the bathrooms). That's pretty fun. I do work with my friend, and that's amazing.

But, Monday was full of expectations.

I have applied to a Wales study abroad. I had an interview last Thursday. He said I was either in or an alternate, and last year 3 of the 4 alternates ended up going. But, he was making the final decision over the weekend. Which means I was watching my email with great intensity. Nothing. All day. So, I will continue to wait, even if it's a bit impatiently.

The other thing was very much nerve-wracking. You see, there's this guy. That should explain most things. But, this is a different guy. Who is basically amazing. And yesterday, I asked him out. It was definitely worth every gut-wrenching moment. We're doing a group date on Saturday. Woot!

Therefore, Mondays are awesome. And this week will not go by fast enough, though it will go by too fast.