Life

As much as I try to ignore it, life moves on. At any given time, there are at least 10 things that I could be thinking of/worrying about/planning/doing etc. And yet, it's impossible. There's no way I could focus on all of that, I'd go crazy! (maybe I already am, but that's besides the point). I handle this through schedules and to do lists. I know people who somehow keep it all in there head. And then there's people who just don't worry about it. For me, I hate worrying about things, but it's almost second nature. School, work, family, friends, future, it's all there, in my head. Sometimes, I just can't escape. Which, is why I procrastinate. I distract myself from all there is to worry about, because most of it I can't do anything about it, at least now, and as for the rest, sometimes I just need a break. This week I'm relearning the fact that life is not fair. Not at all. Somethings have come up, and I just want to cry out "Why?!". But, life moves on. Even when you receive such news, you still have classes and tests and ward activities and you can't just put life on hold to deal with it. You have to go through the motions, and try to concentrate on here. I'm learning to live on faith a whole lot more. Sometimes things just hit you, and that's when I truly learn to rely on God. He's there, and He cares. Life might not be fair, but He doesn't like it either. He just has the full picture, and He knows that this is what's best for us. Even though right now you just want to scream and cry, He's there, and He knows that when the dust settles, we'll be better for it. And, maybe on the other side, one day we will understand. We will be able to look back and be grateful for our trials, for they do make us stronger. We need to rely fully on God, and trust Him. He loves us, and He's there, watching us. We just need to work on trusting Him, turning to Him, and relying on His love. He is there. We just need to go to Him.

iTunes...Testing 1, 2, 3,

50 things

I found this on one of the blogs I read, and decided why not? 1. Do you like blue cheese? Nope. 2. Have you ever been to Yellowstone Park ? Not yet 3. Do you own a gun? Nope. 4. What are your favorite songs? Currently: "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie, "Come Home" by OneRepublic, and "It's Not Over" by Daughtry. 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? I think so. It's been a few years since my last one. 6. What do you think about hot dogs? They're gross. And now I don't eat red meat (if hot dogs even qualify...) anymore. 7. Favorite Christmas song? O Come O Come Emanuel 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water. 9. Can you do push ups? Yep. :) 10. What are you listening to right now? "Love Like This feat. Sean Kingson" by Natasha Bedingfield. 11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? A silver necklace that's currently broken. I need to fix that... 12. Favorite hobby? Reading, listening to music, sleeping. 13. Secret weapon to get the opposite sex? I have a secret weapon? I guess it's so secret, I don't even know what it is! 14. Do you have ADD? Not that I know of, but my mom said I might have it. 15. What one trait do you hate about yourself How I tend to think/talk about myself too much. 16. What's your middle name? Rae. After my grandmother on my dad's side. 17. Name 3 thoughts you are thinking at this exact moment... 1. I want to buy more music 2. I'd like better earphones 3. I only have a hour before I have to go to work. 18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday 1. Alive D Sinus and Cold 2. Hot Soup 3. Arby's for a friend 19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. 1. Water 2. Water 3. Water 20. Current worry right now? Getting homework done for tomorrows BYOB&J (Bring your own Ben & Jerry's) Party. And the fact that tomorrows S.A.D. day. 21. Current hate right now Being cold, biking in the snow. 22. Favorite place to be? Warm, with a good book and no worries. 23. What did you do to bring in the New Year? Played Wii with my Sister, Brother-in-law, niece and nephew. 24. Where would you like to go? Right now? To bed. Or out on a date tomorrow. 25. Name three people who will complete this? Um, maybe Liz, but I don't know who else reads my blog... 26. Do you own slippers? Yep. They're worn and old, but they're there. 27. What shirt are you wearing? A black long sleeved collared shirt. It's very nice. 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I've never slept on satin sheets, but I can't imagine myself liking it. 29. Can you whistle? Yes. 30. Favorite color? Yellow and blue 31. Would you be a pirate? If I was warm always. 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I actually don't currently sing in the shower. 33. Favorite girl's name? Alexandria 34. Favorite boy's name? Sean 35. What's in your pocket right now? Let's see... phone, keys, three used tissues, lip gloss, 74 cents and my wallet. 36. What made you laugh last? Playing M.A.S.H. at enrichment 37. Best bed sheets as a child? My rainbow sheets. 38. Worst injury you've ever had? I fell on my wrist once and I didn't sprain it, but I did have to wear this cast-like thing (only I could take it off) for a couple weeks. 39. Do you love where you live? Right now, no. I'm actually looking forward to moving home in a few months. 40. How many TVs do you have in your house? My parents house? 6. My apartment? None. 41. Who is your loudest friend? Loud? Who says I have loud friends? 42. How many dogs do you have? None. I own a fish. 43. Does someone have a crush on you? Not that I know of. 44. What would you do if you hit a deer while driving? Panic. 45. What is your favorite book? Ohh, too many to count! I really like Twilight though. 46. What is your favorite candy? English chocolate. Flake probably. 47. Favorite Sports Team? Um, BYU? 48. What songs do you want sung/played at your funeral? Um, I don't want a funeral. I want to be twinkled! 49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Working! Yay for money! 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Did my alarm go off? It's past the time it was supposed to go off. Did I set it right? Did I actually push snooze and go back to sleep without realizing it?

Lent

It has come to my attention that there are people at BYU who actually make lenton vows and keep them. Some of the one's I've heard of include giving up: commas, facebook, music, etc. Well, this year I have decided to make my own vow. It's going to be hard, but nececarry. I'm giving up The Board. It'll be hard, but I've noticed that every morning I can't get anything done until I read The Board, and my daily blogs. I'll probably even stop the blogs. I need to do this, to give myself the extra hour of studying every morning that's essential to my grades this semester. On another note: today my roommate said that last night I was singing, not talking, but singing in my sleep. I've always wanted to talk in my sleep, but that is soo much cooler. unfortunately, she didn't recognize the song, so I have no idea what I was singing. Still, it's almost been a goal for me to do some odd thing during my sleep. And, now it's fulfilled. I wonder what I should make an almost goal about next...