friday fill-in, with a twist

How does this happen:

(In case you can't read the text:

1. I'm beautiful, I'm stressed, I need sleep.

2. Why do I have 2 jobs and not enough money to buy what I really want?

3. How does this real-life stuff work, anyway?

4. Every morning I put shoes on my feet (Although they scream in agony every time I do. Pleas let spring come soon!).

5. I consider myself lucky because I might go to Wales this summer!

6. One day we'll see Mr. Right.

7. And as for this weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working with friends, tomorrow my plans include going to the Temple to do family names, and Sunday I want to watch the CES fireside!

Yay!

5 senses

List 4 things you love, and one thing you hate, for each category. Then tag 5 people; leave them a note on their blog so they know. Also, let the person who tagged you know when you post yours. Smell: 1. Fresh cut grass 2. rain 3. slicing certain meats at the deli 4. dinner in the oven 5. Hate: burnt dinner in the oven Touch: 1. grass beneath my feet 2. my soft blanket/bed 3. my laptop 4. human touch 5. Hate: gloves (almost any type) Sound: 1. my ipod 2. my ringtone 3. the sound my computer makes when someone talks to me online 4. the birds singing 5. Hate: loud/obnoxious/crude music Taste: 1. homecooked meals

2. pizza 3. chocolate 4. cheese 5. Hate: slimy foods (like mushrooms) Sight: 1. my mom 2. my dad 3. any siblings (and their families) 4. any friends 5. Hate: my mom when she's sick/stressed I tag: Anyone who's doing something fun tonight

Guess what?

I'm a virus! Google says so:

Rating

I don't know what's up with some of my friends blogs, but this is:

starting over

Yesterday apple released Safari 4 beta. I heard about it through twitter, and decided since I am basically an apple fanboy, I should check it out.

It does look a lot like Chrome. Yet, it's still Safari. Which is not bad. I decided to use it solely yesterday, quitting firefox and even removing it from my dock (gasp!)

The result? I love it. The best thing is, it has none of my bookmarks. And no passwords. It's a new start. Which means I only frequent the really important sites (everything google, theboard, byu), and none of the non-important ones (facebook, forums).

Coincidentally, I have given up facebook for lent. I am hoping that a new browser will help me keep me where I should be on the internet - working on my homework a little more and looking at what people were up to last night a little less.

Of course, if I do want to waste time, I'm always on Twitter...

insane

I am insane. No, really. I might actually be able to prove it this time. You see, last week I got a little sick. As in, I had about 4 sores in my mouth, a sore throat, and a runny nose. I didn't really want to eat anything. Was not fun. So, on Friday I called in sick to my custodial job, because on friday's we only work half the time and watch a movie for the other hour and a half anyway. I was able to sleep until 9 am. So nice. But, I still had classes, and my second job. Ugh. I made it to bed at about 11 pm. Which is actually not too bad. Except I got up the following morning I got up at 5:30, so bob and goober could pick me up at 6 and I could be in Tooele by 8. Where I judged Debate for the first time ever. And got confused for a High School student (You know, I never know if I should be offended when people think I'm 16, or take it as a compliment. I always just laugh it off. I mean, it has been a few years since I graduated). Great fun. But, it didn't end there! Oh no. I returned home and had a few hours, when I then met up with bob again and went to see a play that her brother was in. He actually did a pretty good job. Good for him! But, I did have another problem. You see, there were a few of us who went to see this play: bob, bob's sister siri, bobs brother, and bobs brother's friend. Who just so happens to be cute. And in High School. And I flirted with him half the night. Which is why, my friends, I am insane.

I'm sick. Ugh.

1. Give me good food and I'll love you forever. 2. Whenever I get sick, I am reminded of how much I really hate being sick. 3. I wish I could sleep the rest of the day and not feel guilty. 4. Um, this tomato soup I'm eating now was the last thing I ate that was utterly delicious. (hey, I don't really remember anything past yesterday, and this tastes better than anything I had then. ) 5. To live in this world I have to relax. 6. Other than this one, Quiet Mischif is the last blog I commented on. Yay for bobtheenchantedone! 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with a friend, while we both just happen to wear Macey's uniforms and help customers, tomorrow my plans include hanging out with bob, and Sunday, I want to sleep all day!

I like to...

So, a few friends have done this. Unfortunatly, it doesn't quite work with yellow m&m, or even accountingchick. So, for your pleasure, I have used my real name, and substituted. Here we go. 1. yellow m&m likes to dink (um....) 2. yellow m&m likes to walk in the woods (this is true) 3. yellow m&m likes to ROCK (depending on your definition of rock) 4. yellow m&m likes to share the wealth (wait, what wealth am I sharing?) 5. yellow m&m likes to pet cute creatures (unless they want to bite my hand off) 6. yellow m&m likes to draw (I should do it more often...) 7. yellow m&m likes to be in control (only sometimes. like when I'm awake) 8. yellow m&m likes to recruit new souls (whoops, no one was supposed to know about that...) 9. yellow m&m likes to dance (yep.) 10. yellow m&m likes to move it (:^D)

Hello, my name is yellow m&m...

'nuff said.

hey!

I actually have a minute, so I'm going to post something! Yay! The weekend was really fun. Three days. No school. No work. Amazing. I always love Saturdays since I'm able to sleep in. So nice, after a week of early mornings. I woke up, and helped my mother get ready for a family luncheon that we were having. With my experience with working in the Deli, I was able to put together a meat and cheese tray for a fraction of the cost of buying one from the Deli. After we ate, we all gathered together in the family room and played games. So much fun. Here are some pictures:

Lizzie playing with the basket

I bought my mom a balloon bouquet Of course I got extras for the kids

My grand-niece (Is that the term? She's the daughter of my nephew...weird)

Sharing cousins!

After the luncheon, I went to pick up Liz and Elizabeth, for we were going to Divine Comedy!

Here's Elizabeth in Liz's apartment. Like a ninja!

My ticket

Waiting in line. We actually met up with a few TA's from our CS 142 class, and waited in line with them. I think they were thankful for the Uno game...

Putting together glowstick awesomeness...

Sitting in the Varsity Theatre

After Divine Comedy, we went to a party at an apartment in Liz's ward. We ended up knowing almost no one, but it was still really fun.

Awesome decorations!

After the party, we went to a different apartment and watched a movie. Wee!

What's a movie without popcorn?

It has to be evenly spread!

Amazing glow!

200!

I really didn't think I'd be here so soon. 100 is something, but 200? That's a lot. I really don't know what to do for this. Apparently I'm really bad at giveaways. Like, I never actually give it away. Whoops. I don't want to find 200 of anything to post here, and I doubt you want to read/look at 20o of anything. So, instead, it'll be choose your own adventure. Yay! option 1: you don't care, you do nothing, except continue reading my blog. option 2: you do care, you post a comment saying hello. option 3: you do care, you post a comment with an idea for a post. or a funny quote. option 4: you do care, you post a comment with a caption to this picture: So, you have many options! Have fun! Thanks for reading my blog.

goodbye sleep

You see, I like to procrastinate. Probably a bit more than I should. I think it's a common problem on college campuses. I've usually been okay with this. I procrastinate a bit, but work hard and get everything done so I can turn it into class. Sometimes it's not 100%, but I don't worry about that, I'm pretty sure everyone knows college students procrastinate as much as possible anyway. But, I've run into a problem. I underestimate how long it will take me to program my java homework. Just about every week. So, even though I should be in my nice, warm bed right now (and technically I could be), instead I'm sitting here. At the table. Working on making my program spit out the correct numbers. That it has to find itself. With my help. This could be a long night.

love

I have had a startling revelation: I don't feel loved. Now, don't get me wrong: I know there are numerous people out there who love me: family, friends, that one random kid I just gave ice cream to, etc. But I don't feel it. That's really my problem: touch. If you've meet me, you most likely know I'm a touchy-feely person. If I know you, I'm not afraid to get inside your bubble. I love getting and receiving hugs. I need human touch. I'm just not getting it. There are only so many people I can ask for hugs, and only so many friends who let you get that close to them. Unfortunatly, most of you are not that touchy-feely, and feel weird when I get too close. That's not wrong, that's you. But for me, I need more. And I'm not getting it. And frankly, I'm perplexed. I don't know what to do to change this. Maybe I just live with it? Maybe I pray for a boyfriend (although that hasn't worked yet...). Who knows?

trust

Imagine a child. She's going to school. But, she doesn't understand. "Why do I have to go?" she asks. "It's hard, and some of the other students don't like me." "It's okay", her father replies. "I will be here for you when you get back. It's for your own good. It's hard, but in the end it's worth it." So, she trusts him. She goes off to school. And it's hard, and some of the students don't like her, but she keeps going. And in the end, it's worth it. I'm sure you all see where I'm going with this. Right now, I'm the little girl. I'm down here, and it's hard. And some people might not like me. But, I'm going anyway. I'm keeping it up. I'm trusting in my Heavenly Father. It will all work out in the end, even if I don't see it right now. Faith is hard for me. I am constantly asking "Why?" And, inevitably, the answer is "Because. You don't see it, but it will help you. There's a great plan for you, even if you don't see it. Trust me." So, I trust. Because there is little option. Oh, I could be mad at God. I could blame him for my troubles and problems. Or, I could deny His existence at all. I could say "What sort of God could let this happen?" I could turn my back on religion. But, I can't. Because that's not me. I have to have something to hold on to, or I'll go over the edge. I won't let that happen. So, I believe.

what's love got to do with it?

So, tiburon at sharkbait tagged everyone with this meme, so I decided to join in the fun! Since Valentines Day is this Saturday and love is in the air - I am supposed to list the 25 things that I love to hate:

1. no outlets when my battery is dying on my computer/cell phone/ipod
2. people giving me dirty looks
3. people not doing their own dishes
4. tests
5. not being able to enjoy the weather
6. not having money to buy music/another ipod
7. trying to be productive and failing
8. people who don't treat me like an adult
9. people who think I can't/shouldn't/am not allowed to do things
10. no internet access when there should be
11. the fact that I can't be mad at someone, even if I have a right to be
12. the fact that I can't forget about someone, even if I try
13. no spring break
14. how valentines day is such a big deal
15. how utterly clueless I feel
16. when friends are sick and I can't help them out
17. wanting so many unnecessary items
18. being so good at procrastinating
19. no gas in the car
20. when friends aren't online to chat
21. when I cry for no good reason
22. when I feel bad for buying music I love
23. mondays
24. getting up at 4 am
25. the fact that I am single

So, I guess I'm supposed to tag 3 people or something. I don't really feel like following rules, so I'll just tag everyone who got up after me this morning. :^D edit: there's one more thing I love to hate: PDA (and I'm not talking about personal digital assistants)

fun + pictures!

So, I can't really say I've had loads of fun these past few days. In fact, I just got done taking a test (yay!). That was not the funnest thing ever. But, this past weekend I did participate in some activities that could be considered by some (myself included) to be enjoyable. Of course, I took pictures. I do that a lot lately. I love my camera. A lot. (side note: some of these pictures are a couple of weeks old. I've really been meaning to post them for a while. Enjoy!)

A glass of water

The mess I made a few weeks ago

The full mess

Putting tables together. Yay!

Interesting warning on my Dr. Pepper

Rock climbing! I made it to the top!

Liz came with me, and belayed me.

She did some climbing, too!

The Jon Schmidt concert. Well, before it started.

Ada, who lives down the street

My dream computer

again?

1. Please don't tell me it's my fault. 2. Can you be my friend in the morning? 3. The color green makes me want to dance in the rain. 4. I have a craving for spending money. Like buying another iPod, more music, etc. 5. If my life had a pause button, I'd pause it now and sleep. 6. Eyes are the coolest. Really. 7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping after work, tomorrow my plans include going to the Draper temple (again), going out to lunch, going to a wedding reception and Sunday, I want to sleep more!

that "25 things" tag

So, I didn't actually think I'd get tagged for this. I had heard about it on twitter (yes, on twitter, not facebook), but I didn't really think that 1 - my friends would do it or 2 - I'd get tagged with it. Guess I was wrong on both counts. Since I've never done a note on facebook, why start now? I'll just do it now, and not have to tag anyone (unless you want to be. but you've probably done this on facebook or something)

1. my computer is my baby. seriously, I love this thing so much. he makes me happy, even if he is schizophrenic.
2. I love my camera. I guess I should say I love all my electronics, even if I do want to replace my ipod (I love you anyway, Alexa!)
3. oh, I name all my electronics. I used to name them after guys I had crushes on, but that didn't last long. now I just give them names I like. Oh, and once I was really bored and came up with this story where all my electronics fell in love with one another...it was great.
4. I've never broken a bone. I've only been to the emergency room once, and that was because I sliced part of my finger off (it was only a small piece, but it was big enough to cause alarm. it was quite the night)
5. I love to cook. I really should do it more often, since it's fun. but I don't really like the cleaning up part. except I really do like doing the dishes. which is weird.
6. which brings me to the next thing, I love water. All forms of water. I love swimming. I love taking a bath. I love doing the dishes. I love washing my hands. water is amazing. just writing this makes me want to take a bath. too bad it's too late... for me at least.
7. I've been to a lot of places. England three times, technically. Canada. Mexico. Jamaica. Grand Cayman. Driven across the western part of the US a lot. Not really been to the East though. But I want to go to New York soon (I love you Liz!)
8. my neice lives downstairs. she's the cutest little girl.
9. I may be additcted to peanut M&M's. too bad they're on sale at Macey's right now. I have to keep reminding myself I'm broke.
10. I love going barefoot. Shoes are okay, I guess. But feeling something with my feet is an experience I treasure.
11. English food is awesome. like Bubble and Squeak, which is when you boil veggies (like potatoes, carrots, cabbage, onion, etc), and then you fry it. yum!
12. I really like cnet. It's awesome.
13. I'm addicted to music. I really can't stand silence, although why I'm not sure. I always have at least 3 or 4 things on my music wishlist. If ever I become a millionare, I'd probably spend it all on music.
14. I had a dream last night that I designed a web page. It was awesome. I'm glad that I've finally found a major that I love, that I don't have to worry about intense competition to get in, that I might actually be good at.
15. I hate saying goodbye. No matter who I say it to, it sucks.
16. I don't like crispy cookies. They need to be nice and soft. Preferably warm. MMMM....
17. I woke up this morning at 4 am with energy. I don't know how I did it. Hopefully it will stay around for a while.
18. I like the Talmage building. Even though it's not as pretty as the Tanner building. (what is it with me and buildings that start with the letter T?)
19. I want to play in the rain right now. I want to get sick from it. Maybe I just want an excuse to put my life on hold?
20. Chocolate will be the death of me. Really.
21. I can't live without my laptop. It's all but surgically attached.
22. I'm learning to like morning. Except I'm still a night owl. Maybe I just won't sleep anymore.
23. I really want to do something fun this summer, and so far I have a few options. I hope that at least one of them works out!
24. Webcomics rock. I am addicted to at least 3 of them. If not more.
25. It was really hard for me to come up with these 25 items. And it took me a few days to do it, too. Here's hoping you learned something about me.

I'm still here

Don't worry, I'm not acutally running away. Yet. There is one thing I'm sure of: something's coming. I don't know when, and I don't know what, but there is change coming to my life. After this semester ends, my future is a big bank of fog. I could go to Wales. I could go on a mission. I could just work all summer. I could go to New York. There are many paths that I could take, and so far I don't know which one I will take. Due to complications with the Wales Study Abroad, I'm not even sure if that's an option any more. I'd rant about it, but that's a story for a different post. No, what I really want to focus on is Sunday. When I woke up, it was a bright, new day. I had slept in, and thought I was ready for anything. But, throughout the day thoughts came. Some of them were very difficult ideas. I knew what I had to do next. I knew it would be hard. I did it anyway. And I survived. And grew stronger. And I will be stronger. This was part of what gave me such grief. The second half was something that hit me like a ton of bricks. It started out with me talking online with a friend, as to the reason why I don't like singles wards. I won't really go into detail, but we discussed some of my reasons. And I discovered the underlying reason for avoiding them. And it was a surprise. I didn't realize that was the reason. And I looked deeper into myself, and I started not seeing what I saw. So, a new goal: try harder. Do better. I have done something very hard, but it has made me strong. I will continue to do hard things. Because I can.

my life...

...is being described on the radio. Seriously, every time I turn on the radio I hear a song that describes some aspect of my life right now. Am I that cliche? I don't really get it. Here's hoping for some change!

I want to run away

So, I was going to wait until I could upload my pictures to blog, but I don't really know where my cord went, and since I'm procrastinating anyway, I thought I'd say something about my weekend. Saturday was fun. Kind of. I went to work at 9:30 am, and by my estimates, fried about 1,000 hot dogs. That's right, we deep fat fried them. Macey's was selling them for 10 cents each, so we had a lot. Except I had to keep calling Yvonne to tell her we needed more hot dogs. Or more buns. Yeah, great fun. But, I was in the back the whole time, and I didn't have to deal with stupid customers, so that was happy. (Note: I do like dealing with smart customers. You know, the ones that realize you can only go so fast, you're only human, and you can't help everyone at once. Also: the ones that know you can make mistakes, and don't yell at me when I do. /rant) Well, I finally got off about 5:45, and when I got home I raced upstairs and took a quick shower, then it was off to the Jon Schmidt concert. I meet up with two friends: Liz and Elizabeth. They're awesome. Really. Jon Schmidt is a genious. Really. If I had money, I'd buy his music. And, he's coming out with a new CD. How awesome! And, his son opened for him. Sweet! There was also this celloist who played with him, Steven Nelson. Amazing. I really need more music money. After the concert we all went back to Elizabeths apartment and had hot chocolate (excpet me, I had a banana. At work, about all I had was peanut m&ms, dr. pepper, and ice cream). We also played 5 Crowns with random people who were also in her apartment. Some of them might have been Elizabeths roommates. Who knows? (oh, and her roommate gave the opening prayer at the concert, how cool is that? And some guy in her ward actually played during the concert. He was actually invited by Jon up to the stage. And some other guy in her ward was M.C. Yeah, she's that awesome) Um, then Sunday sucked. A lot. I don't really know how to explain it, other than saying I blew up at my family twice (I really am sorry about that, it has nothing to do with them), and it was not pretty. Although I might have a solution, it won't be pretty either. In fact, I think this semester officially sucks more than last semester (and that's saying something). Oh, and I'm having difficulties with my Wales application. That's not helping anything either. Maybe I'll just run away this summer anyway. Even if I don't get into Wales, I need to get away. There's too much here. Maybe I'll take up my mom's offer to ship me off to England.