this just in...

I'm sick. (I guess it's not JUST in, I have been slightly sick since Friday) Friday I was slightly sick, but felt well enough to be up and around. Friday night I went over to a friends house and about eight of us were there, playing computer games. I stayed up until about 3:30. Of course, the following day I got up at 9 am, to help my mother watch my neice for my sister. I felt so weak, but I knew it was my own fault. I went to work from about 11 am to 4 pm, came home and crashed on my bed. I woke up this morning and decided that I was not going to church. Hopefully I will be better for classes on Tuesday. If not, I pray that I do not get the whole school sick.

life is hard

Tonight, I also didn't have to work. So, I went to a baby shower. It was quite nice. The usual gifts were given, friends chatted, and food was enjoyed. Near the end, a friend of my mom showed up. Now, my mom was unable to make it due to plans with my sister-in-law (who just happened to be in town) so I had gone by myself. But, this friend had known me, and she sat down to talk. Now, it is still weird to me, to have a 'grown up' sit down and talk to me like I am a 'grown up'. But she did. She had moved out of the ward about three years ago, and we talked about things that had happened, to her and to me. She had gone through a divorce. Her husband had left her while her eldest son was on a mission. She had been diagnosed with two types of cancers, just to find out a month later that there was no sign of them (this was after the whole ward had gone to the temple on her behalf). She had surgery two weeks ago. As for me, my mom is taking care of my grandpa 24/7, is worrying about my nephew who has cancer, and is trying to spend as much time over in England as possible, to be with her dad. As we talked, I was trying hard not to go into shock, both with her experiences, but with mine, and how we're all going through so much. I wrote earlier about how life is complicated. Well, I have a feeling it's just going to get more complicated as life goes on. But, I know that the Lord is there. He is always there for us. And he will not put us through more than we can handle. Even though we are going through hard times, it won't always be that way. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but we don't need to wait that long. There can be light around us now, if we just look. I see my mom going through the trials, but she is still happy. She goes out of her way to help people. She is happy, and kind, and thoughtful. I love her. She knows the Lord, and I hope to be the same. I have a feeling that my life will be hard. Very hard. But, I know that with the Lords help, we can make it through anything.

buying books

So, on wednesday, I didn't work (well, I didn't work thursday or friday but that's besides the point). So, I thought it would be a good time to actually go down and buy books before everyone else, right? WRONG! I got there, and the place was packed....with freshmen. And their moms. And their dads. And their siblings. Gosh! When did buying college textbooks become a family outing? Doesn't everyone dread buying their books? I guess having your mom there to buy your books for you makes it pleasurable ("Hey, I almost spent $500 on books but hey, mom's picking up the tab!"). As for me, I just bought a couple of books, all for less than $100! I feel quite proud of myself for that accomplishment. (of course, I had nothing to do with it, other than I got there early enough to get the books used) Moral of the story: don't buy books! (just kidding. just don't go at 2:00 in the afternoon)

in which google warms up to me (and lots of photos!)

So here it is, last week, try 2. Let me tell you about next week, and you can actually see pictures this time! *gasp*! On Monday we all got the day off work and went up Provo Canyon to Nun's Park. We spent a lovely day there. This is my mom, lounging in a chair. My niece is so cute! She loves blowing bubles, and here she is blowing with all her might. My niece again. I don't think she knows that it's not quite an iphone (just an ipod). Oh well, she's cute anyway. "These shoes are a bit big, mom!" I'm begining to fall in love with B&W, so here's an artistic piece for you. Sun through the trees. On the playground! What would a day up the canyon be without a fire? We weren't about to find out! Here's the fire being lit. And here's the fire, very happy in it's pit.

in which google hates me

So here I was, trying to arrange this beautiful post, complete with pictures and videos from last week. Of course, google had to step in and stop all of it. First, my pictures wouldn't load, then it didn't like my video format (of course Sam says it shouldn't be doing that). So, I have put it off. Maybe it will like me in a day or two. In other news: - My fish died. I will be burying it out back next to the cat. - I officially hate my job. - I wish school started this week. Seriously. - My old math teacher from high school might be teaching my statistics lab. How cool is that? - I want to fly to Texas. Right now. - I have enough money to last me through September. - For the first time since I was a freshmen I will have my nights open. Unfortunatly I just announced to everyone that I am going on a mission, which negates some of the want of open nights. - I like lists. Sometimes. - I have three days off work this week. Anyone want to hang out? - Is anyone still reading this list?

life

When did life get so complicated? When did I grow up? Now I have bills to pay, a job to worry about, school to figure out, my life to plan, boys to worry about, family that is always in the back of my mind and on and on. Everyday it seems like something else gets added to the mix. There's alway something new to worry about, or work on, or fix. There's always something I'm not doing, not doing right, not doing enough of, or doing too much of. It seems like everyday I'm more aware of how unperfect I am. Then again, my friend says I'm too down on myself, so that's something else to worry about. *sigh* maybe I should just get a journal, but do journals offer advice like you do? (when you do offer advice, that is...)

things about me

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now: 1. You might never know how much I like you. But I like being friends too much to ruin our friendship. So maybe I'll just get over it. 2. Grow up. Seriously. Just because you can do things like move to Wyoming on the fly does NOT mean it's a good idea. and you're definently not ready for marriage. Make up with your parents. 3. I know we fight a lot, but you're still my brother. We really should just get along. 4. We used to be friends, and I miss that. But you've gone your way, and I've gone mine. Maybe it's time to just say goodbye for good. 5. I love how we've become such good friends. Good luck in Ukraine! 6. You weren't a really good worker for Macey's. I'm kinda glad you quit. (so I'm a bad person, sue me) 7. I wish I could be as care-free as you. You're really fun to be around. Unfortunatly, you also give me headaches. But, it's worth it. 8. I always wished that we could be better friends. But it never quite worked out. We're just a little too different. 9. Why can't I be more like you? 10. I really want to hang out with you more often. I should call you more. Nine Things About Myself: 1. Everytime I get mad, I end up in tears. 2. I love staying up late. Especially for no good reason. 3. I love doing the dishes. In fact, I love anything dealing with water. 4. I read really fast. I'm always amazed at how slow other people read. Hurry Up! 5. I just bought a compter that's about 10 years old. And I love it. 6. I would rather go to school than go to work. 7. I wish that I could feel better about my life. I might even have mild depression. 8. I'm afraid of telling anyone my true thoughts. 9. I wish I could do better with my time. Eight Ways To Win My Heart: 1. Ask me out (if you're a guy) 2. Send me mail. Snail mail. 3. Give me a book. 4. Physical touch. 5. Treat me like a college student. 6. Invite me over, even if it's just a little thing. 7. Help me with my computer (mac) problems 8. Love me. Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot: 1. Do I really have to go to work? 2. How much do I owe my parents now? 3. Am I hungry? 4. What's tomorrow going to be like? 5. Is [someone] online? 6. Am I being anoying? 7. I should really go to sleep. Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep: 1. Take off makeup. 2. Brush my teeth 3. Tell my mom I'm home. 4. Get into bed. 5. Check my email/see who's online. 6. Turn on ipod (and make sure it will turn itself off) Five People Who Mean a Lot: 1. Mom 2. Mary 3. Liz 4. Dad 5. Other's who I don't feel like naming Four Things You’re Wearing Right Now: 1. 1/2 of my work uniform (pants and shirt) 2. Glasses 3. Earrings 4. Socks (I should have taken those off hours ago) Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently): 1. Somewhere Out There 2. Shattered [Turn the Car Around] 3. Death Will Never Conquer Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die: 1. Go to Australia 2. Be a good mom (and wife) One Confession: 1. I'd rather get married than go on a mission.(There, I've said it. I'm not a bad person, am I?) (please don't hate me)

yesterday

So, yesterday was interesting. Very much so. I had traded shifts with someone, so I expected to work a nice, easy, 10 am - 3 pm shift. 5 hours, easy, right? Well, I got there, and due to mix up with the schedule, and someone not coming in, I ended up taking pity on my manager and staying until 11. That's right. I worked from a little before 10 am to about 11:30 pm. Almost 14 hours. Anyone else think "yuck?" I'm surprised I survived. And here I am, about to start a 9 hour shift. All I can say is my paycheck better be good.

bug on my screen

So, here it is. Anyone know what it is? (and bonus points if you know which webpage I was on when I took that picture)

my day (warning: this is long)

so i've decided to be like bismark and not capitalize anything today. hee hee. and i've decided to tell you all about my amazingly awesome and horrifyingly horrible day. and yes, they both happened today. it started out well enough. six hours of sleep. a try for breakfast, then babysitting three boys for some neighbors. the boys were eight and eleven, so it wasn't that hard, and near the end, it was very fun. tomorrow i'll post pictures and maybe a movie of this event. for now, i will just say that i enjoyed myself, and actually earned $25. for watching these guys for maybe three hours. i will be going to best buy tomorrow. and spending all of it. the next part is pretty good, too. my new phone, while awesome, is having problems. when in camera mode, it shows four dots (kinda) on the screen that won't go away, and are on pictures after they are taken. and the outercase that surrounds my sceen is coming off. also, my phone has never vibrated. never. it's always annoyed me. well, today i did something about it. i called at&t. the first person i talked to was okay, but she heard that part of the outer case was coming off, asked her superviser about it, and said that it voided my warrenty, and they wouldn't help me with anything else. she then transfered me to someone else who could give me some cheap and or free options. i talked to this other person, who was also very nice, but was actually nicer. because she heard all my problems, entered in a few things, and the next thing i know she was confirming my address. at&t is sending me a new phone. i just have to send the old phone back, but i don't want it anyway, because it has problems. that i had nothing to do with!!! the last bit of my day was okay, but turned awful. first, i clocked in at work, and was doing well. i was really happy because of my phone dealio, and as a result was happy to everyone else. it was really nice. i was able to get monday off next week, and my family is having an outting-like thing up the canyon. it will be fun. then disaster struck. at about nine pm, i was making ice cream cones when a girl came up and said there had been an accident. someone had thrown up in the eatery (that's the place where all the tables are). so, i grabbed the mop and bucket, a couple rags and put on my gloves. after all, how bad could it be. very bad, as i found out. they had covered the whole thing with napkins, which was nice. i bent down to pick up the pile, and about lost my dinner. litterally. i was finally able to clean it all up, making sure it was very clean. but by then it was too late. my stomache was a tumbling, and there was nothing to calm it down. i got some fresh air, but that didn't help. i decided just to keep working, hoping to feel better. i got worse. but the hardest part was that no one seemed to understand how awful i felt. sure, they all said they understood, but if they understood, why were they leaving me extra work? why weren't they helping me out? grr! then, when i was already frusterated, friends of one of my coworkers (h) showed up. they ordered ice cream, and h helped them out. then they went into the eatery. h volenteered to clean the eatery. then she talked to them while she cleaned. 20 minutes later she was done. but continued talking to them. they showed up at 10, and stayed near the deli until about 11. and they talked to her for most of the time. the worst part though, was when i was mopping. everyone else was leaving, and since h was my ride home, she stayed. but, all she did for 10 minutes was stand there and talk. it got so bad that i actually said "if you're just going to stand there and talk, you might as well clock out". but, she didn't, of course. she just continued talking for another 5 minutes. when she finally came in to grab her stuff, i was so mad i could barely talk. when i get mad, i don't like to talk, because i'm afraid i'll just explode and yell and scream and say things that i don't mean. this was one of the times. h, when you read this, i'm sorry i gave you the silent treatment. but i didn't want to yell at you. you are my friend, but this is something that ticks me off. don't be paid just to stand around and talk to you friends. please. now i feel a little better. i'm sorry this was long, but my day was actually eventful!

[blank]

You Are Aurora! (A.K.A. Sleeping Beauty.)

Thoughtful and loving. Authority figures probably have been sheltering you all of your life. Thankfully you're a very tranquil person who is content with what life has given you, but secretly you want to know how the outside world works.

Which Disney Princess Are You? plus (http://theodorefriendtoall.blogspot.com/2008/08/fencing.html) This is for you, Sam.

life happens. then it goes to disneyland.

Okay, so before anyone makes any random assumptions, I did not go to disneyland. Nor any of my friends, aquantences, etc. Maybe someone who once bought an ice cream cone from me did, but if so I don't know them and I don't care. I'm just going to talk about what's going on, since some of you care about that sort of thing. So, it's almost been a week since I burnt my arm. And it looks weird, but it's healing. And I probably won't have a really cool scar. Oh well, I have pictures. My mom came home from Texas Saturday. For those who don't know, here's some short backstory. 3 of my siblings currently live in Houston. My sister who lives there has a 6 year old son who has cancer, and he has been fighting it since he was 4. My mom goes down there a lot to be with my sister. When my mom came back, she brought sad news. I just hope I make it down there one last time before he goes. This morning I meet up with two friends from high school. They were pretty good friends, but I hadn't seen them in a couple years (AKA, since graduation). They are both married and both pregnent. We spent the morning watching the olympics. Great bonding time. This evening my grandpa, who is in a wheelchair and who lives with us, tripped over a rug, fell out of his wheelchair, and hit his head. His glasses caught his eyelid, causing a nasty looking cut. My parents are currently at the emergency room with him as I type. This is not good. Sometimes I feel like my life is one disaster after another. I don't particuarly like my job anymore. I wasted my whole summer on meaningless things. There will be two funerals for my family in the next year. Sometimes, I wonder, why? Why is life like this? Yes, there is joy. Yes, there is happiness. But sometimes it seems like those are few and far between, and life is one disaster after another. You just try to have enough energy to make it through the next crisis. Why??? Sometimes, it seems all so pointless...

Breaking Dawn - my review

This book. It made me think. I had to read it twice before I could even come to any sort of opinion on it, and I kind of want to read it again before writing this, but I do want to write this, (mainly in reaction to this and this ) The first time I read it, I started a few minutes after midnight and ended about 5:30 am, with some breaks in the middle. I got to the end, looked at the clock, and fell asleep. The next day I definently wanted to talk to someone about it, but they were all still in the middle of it, so I had to wait. But now I have talked to people about it, and this is my play (or chapter) by play reaction: Book 1: I admit, I wasn't really planning on the wedding being in the third chapter of the book. Maybe I was expecting more planning or something. I had read the first chapter before, and had loved it. The wedding was a bit over done, but it was nice that Jacob showed up, and danced with Bella. The whole honeymoon things was expected, up until the fried chicken part (now remember, I work in a deli. I will never be able to cook fried chicken without thinking of this book). When I realized she was pregnent, and that she called Rosalie, I was almost in shock. Then, I turn the page and it's from Jacobs point of view. Strange... Book 2: At first I was really mad. Here was Bella, with all these emotions and thoughts of her baby, and we get it all from Jacobs point of view, with him wanting to kill Edward, then seeing how bad Bella is. And how Jacob still loves Bella, and how much more Edward loves her, to do anything to save her life. It's touching, really. I was shocked when Jacob broke off from the pack, but now that I've thought about it, it seems like it was going to happen sometime anyway. Jacobs too independent, and he was the one who really could break free and be his own Alpha. Of course, Seth coming was interesting, but when Leah joined his pack, I could sense something happening. It was around here that I took a break and drove home, and I was almost positive that Jacob was going to end up with Leah. It wouldn't be perfect, but they had so much in common, and could make it work. Of course, I wasn't prepared for the next twist in the story: Jacob imprinting of Reneseme. Book 3: I really liked how it backed up a few days, and showed how Bella felt during the birth and becoming a vampire. Her self control, hunting, it all seemed really out of place at first, but then I thought about it, and of course Bella would be different as a vampire. She's married, has a daughter, and now is undead. She would act different, but there was still a little bit of her in there. Not enough for my liking, but enough to do. At this point, I was surprised the book hadn't ended yet. Here were all of the lose ends, bound up tight, and I still had about 200 pages left. I was bewildered. And then, of course, Stephanie Meyer had to put that little stunt with Irina. I almost wish Bella had more time just playing around as a vampire before something drastic happened. Then, the Volturi are going to come, and Alice disapears, and there's going to be action again! Wow! Except I wonder if Stephanie was just dragging it out for the sake of dragging it out and making a longer book. I guess I can excuse it a little, since the Voluri had expressed interest in Edward and Alice and even Bella before, but this was just going to far in my mind. Meh. Oh well, I also hate the whole "everone who sees Reneseme is instantly in love with her". Yes, babies are charming. But come on! This was stupid. But all of that aside, it was kind of clever, how Alice left her note, etc. etc. Except for the part when Bella went into town and I was just thining "has she really changed that much in that little time?" I guess I'm happy that in the end there was no fighting. I don't like conflict, and there seemed promise that sometime in the future they might clash again and actually defeat the Volturi a bit. I guess I didn't like how the Volturi left, everyone huggs, and then it sort of ends. Meh. I want a real ending! (this is also what bugged me about the ending of Harry Potter 7). I don't like wussy endings. I want a nice, big finale. So, I guess I had more to rant about then I though I did. I do like the book (although I do still like Eclipse better). I just wish the ending was better, and didn't feel like Stephanie was just dragging on the book for the sake of dragging on the book. [/rant]

How to get paid for sleeping

So yesterday was very fun. I went to work at 11 am. And work went well for a few hours. About 1 pm I went to take some burritos out of a fryer. When I went to put the basket back above the fryer, I somehow put my skin against the basket. And it hurt. Here are pictures: Here's the first picture I took. It is covered in Burn Free, stuff we have at the first aid kit in the Deli. It does not look pleasent, right? This is maybe half an hour later. Yes, my burn did absorb all that stuff. And more. After a few hours, I was walking around the store looking for chicken to fry (don't ask) when Yvonne (the head of HR) saw my burn and said that I should have a doctor look at it. I made some sort of nod of agreement, and went back to the deli with my chichen. She then called me over the intercom and told me to go right then and have it looked at. So, I went. And I was told not to sign out. I drove down the street to a place called Work Care. Filled out some paperwork, did a drug test, and was sent to a waiting room to wait for the doctor. And I was told that I could lie down if I wanted. So there I was, tired, so I laid down and closed my eyes. And yes, I was paid for taking a cat nap. The doctor finally came in, looked at my burn, and said it was mainly a first degree with part of a second degree burn in there. He gave me some stuff to keep in wrapped while I'm at work, but otherwise I should keep it uncovered (except in the sun, otherwise the scar will be more prominent). He also said that this was one of the coolest looking burns he had ever seen. A picture of my wrap that I dispise. My burn later that day. My burn about 8 pm tonight.

Last (Friday) Night, Pt. 2

So, I decided it's finally time to post about the midnight party. Of course, first I had to get the photos off my camera, which was hard since my camera now hates me. But, I've succeeded. :D Me at the party. The long line (behind me). I guess these would be the type of fanatic fans Nanti is always talking about. I hope they enjoyed the book. There was this guy there, playing songs on his guitar. It was pretty cool. After I got my book, I went upstairs in the bookstore and attempted to give blood. I got all ready, I was in the chair, they marked my vain, but I must have moved my arm, because when they put in the needle, it was slightly off. The blood was coming out slow, and since there was a 20 minute rule, I didn't make it. They had to throw away my blood. I was very upset. Oh well. I then went home and finished my book about 5:30 am and went to bed. I then was awoken at 8:30 by my enemy the sun.

Last Night, Pt. 1

So much has happend in the last 24 hours, I'm going to break it up. This may take several days to post it all. They'll all be Last Night, though. Last night I finally got around to doing something I've wanted to do for months: install Windows XP on my mac. I've wanted to have it there, just in case. I've wondered if I would fall in love with it (I didn't) all over again, like when I first saw it (my mind was changed forever when I saw OS X). It was fairly simple. I just created the partition, then inserted Windows XP, it did it's thing, and I was good to go. I was playing around with it a little this morning, but I can't get excited. I just got frustrated. So now I'm back in OS X. Something else happend last night (well, this morning). A book came out. I will talk about this more in my next post (along with pictures and comments) but I will say this much: The book is awesome. I love it. I give you a week to read it, then I will give you my review. One Week.

double tagged!

So, apparently I was tagged twice. I won't do it twice, but I will tell you who tagged me. So...the rules are as follows for this chain letter: 1. Link to the person who tagged you. Here. and Here. 2. Post the rules on your blog. Done! 3. Write six random things about yourself. See below. 4. Write six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. See below. 5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. Done. 6. Let your tagger know when your blog entry is up. Done. Kind of. Hmm... six random things... (1) I'm going to a midnight party for Breaking Dawn tonight (2) Apparently my neice likes my friend more than me (3) I like watching Handy Manny...with or without my neice (4) I simply cannot wait for school to start (5) I do not like spiders. At all (6) My niece calls my computer quack quack, because of Adium Hmmm... six random people... Most of the people I would have tagged have already been tagged, but here it goes. Brooke (maybe you'll finally post something on that blog of yours) Sam (I know, you've already been tagged. Deal with it. Liz (you'll do this eventually) The next three random people to view this, who aren't those listed above.