Where I feel like a jerk...

...and cry over it.

I will tell you a story. And then you can tell me if I'm a jerk or not.

It all started during #ldsconf. Yes, a hashtag. Twice a year on Twitter you have the opportunity to find new lds peeps who are on Twitter. We tweet conference using the hash tag #ldsconf. Well, during this past conference I had obtained some more followers, simply because I was lds. On Twitter I have this rule where I don't usually follow someone back unless they talk to me first.

One of my new followers did so. A few times, in fact. So, after a few weeks, I started following him back. Then we started talking more, just on Twitter. His name is Jason. I'm debating putting his Twitter name out there. But considering it.

So last week we were talking so much on Twitter, I asked if he used a instant messenger service. He said msn. So we exchanged email addresses and started chatting.

Now I'd like to state here that he lives on the east coast, a long way from me. I didn't have any romantic thoughts (ok, maybe a few. But they weren't realistic and I knew it). I wanted to be friends. We talked a bit online, and then we exchanged phone numbers so we could text. I was having fun talking to him, and I thought he enjoyed it, too.

It all ended Saturday night. We were talking. He was watching a football game. His favorite team. They lost. He snapped. Started swearing and stuff on Twitter. Saying all his friends were liars. Saying he'd never date lds gitls because they were too boring. I tried texting him, telling him I was there for him, as a friend. He never responded, but on Twitter he did tell everyone to stop bugging him and f-off (using the real word).

So I just laid down and cried. I was worried about him, but he didn't care about me at all. It hurt. I hoped Sunday morning he'd wake up and apologize.

Well, he did wake up, and apparently he was a bit sorry for swearing, but he never apologized to me. And when I did try talking to him on Twitter he just responded with 'I'll never date an lds girl'. Then he apologized to all the lds people who were following him, who got his swearing. But not me, because hey, I'm only an lds girl. So I told him "you're either an idiot or a jerk". He responded "yep, I'm a jerk".

Made me start to feel guilty. Was he really a jerk? Or was I not giving him a chance to explain himself?

This afternoon he tweeted: "hello #lds"
Well, I'm lds, so I responded "hi"
His response: "@cspokey ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
I said: "am I that scary?"
He said: "@cspokey shutup looks don't mean anything to me"

Um, ok? What is that supposed to mean? We are friends on Facebook, so he's seen a picture of me. Maybe he's trying to say I might be good looking but I'm a jerk? I don't get this guy.

And now he further confuses me. Not only is he still following, but he responded to me. What is up with that?

So, am I the jerk, or is he?