sleep

My body makes no sense when it comes to sleep. I've tried to figure it out, really. But, no matter what I think is going to work, it ends up still leaving my tired, which is not happy. Oh, after my shower I'm up and going, and not grouchy, but I hate getting out of bed when I know I could just roll over and fall back asleep in minutes. Less than that, even.

This all started a few months ago. School had gotten out, but I still kept my early morning custodial job. I tried going to bed at 8, but as the days got longer and longer, it never seemed to work. Even if I went to bed at 8, I'd have my computer up and still wouldn't make it to bed until 9:30 or 10. And then, wake up at 4. Some nights I'd be up later, talking to family and friends. And then on the weekends I'd be up until midnight (or later) but get to sleep in. I'm sure this all threw my body totally off wack.

Then, I go on vacation. I kept telling myself that once I went on vacation, everything would get better. I'd have constant sleep, 8 or more hours a night, and I'd finally feel rested. Well, kink number one: Someone in the room snores. I'm not going to name any names, but they snore, loudly. Like, it wakes me up at least once a night. Kink number two: even if I do get 8 or 9 or 11 hours of real sleep, I still wake up exhausted. Like, I could really sleep for another few hours. Which makes no sense to me.

Let me throw in a little story here: once upon a time, it was Friday night. I had gotten 4 hours of sleep the night before (with a 1 hour nap), had worked nearly 12 hours (not straight, but bad enough) and had decided to not set my alarm, but to sleep until I woke up. I ended up sleeping over 12 hours, and my mom had to wake me up, saying I had to be to work in 30 minutes. Now, I'm always afraid to sleep without an alarm set, or someone to wake me up. I can't chance missing the whole day again.

Anyway, the thing is: I don't get it. I'm as tired with 8 or more hours of sleep as I am with only 5 or 6 hours of sleep. If I was getting too much, I'd assume that my body would automatically wake me up. But, it doesn't do that. It hasn't in years. Maybe I'm so sleep deprived, that I'm past hope? I really don't understand. Maybe when I'm back in my own bed, and I can really sleep with no distractions, maybe then I'll be better.

Or maybe I'm just fooling myself.