huh

So, apparently I'm not actually taking a break from blogging. huh. I am feeling better, though. Whether or not I'm just in denial is yet to be seen. Yes, for three days I felt like crap. I wanted to break my cell phone, throw my computer across the room, and other damaging behavior. But, then I woke up and decided that I hated feeling like crap, so I wasn't going to anymore. And I still not. I don't really know if this is good for me. Did I go through all the phases of grief? Did I fully get it out of my system? Am I supposed to feel like crap for longer than three or four days? Am I supposed to continue to lose sleep? To me, that's what's not healthy. Especially since I now have a second job, where I work Monday through Friday 4 am to 8 am. Not sleeping is NOT an option. But, I've been thinking about it a lot. And I feel peace. I know I'm doing okay. I just need to have patience. I still have no idea what's going on in my life. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. But I'm starting to be okay with it. It's what faith's about anyway, right? Not knowing the future, but knowing that it'll turn out how it's supposed to, in the end. And that's all that matters.